God Damned Commie America

There's nothing more communist than jobs, America, and hope.

Red Robin Burgers' Penis Surprise

OfJoshua and I took the family out to Red Robin to celebrate baby Jesus' first touchdown day. As always, my grandson went straight to the claw games and immediately nabbed a stuffed prize (see photo below).

I'm not sure what it's supposed to be, but for some reason, it excites me. Makes me want to go out, drive my Dodge Ram Truck, shoot firearms, and bomb Iran.

Department of Book Reports: Everybody Loves Our Towns

I thought I'd talk about a couple books set in towns I love, but you don't need to be a fan to fall in love with these volumes. First up, Everybody Loves Our Town: An Oral History of Grunge by Mark Yarm (Crown, $25)  Mark Yarm is a former editor at Blender and spent 2 years researching and conducting 250 interviews to give a remarkable history of a pre-Starbucks, pre-Microsoft Seattle, a time and music that ended too soon. Chuck Palahniuk's Cult blog has an interview with Yarm about the bands and of course, Courtney Love.  

This book has some great never-before published photos, like Soundgarden in 1994 and Candlebox impersonating you know who in 1995.

Wildwood by Colin Meloy and illustrated by Carson Ellis (HarperCollins, $17.99) Wildwood is a real place, an Impassable Wilderness in Portland, OR. Colin Meloy, the lead singer for the Decemberists and his wife Carson Ellis have crafted a modern fairytale in a city wilderness. A wilderness no one has ever returned from. But when Prue McKeel's little brother is kidnapped by crows she and her friend Curtis must journey into this land of magic and danger to rescue him.    

State of Delaware Names Apostle

Last week, the Delaware House of Representatives put aside such trivial matters as economic recovery and education funding to perform the more important work of passing this tribute:

Tribute. Be it known to all that the House of Representatives recognizes Dr. C. Peter Wagner As an Apostle For the Occasion of Commissioning Apostles in the State of Delaware.

On this special day of the Commissioning Service, we honor Dr. C. Peter Wagner for his many years of faithful service to the Lord of Heaven and Earth, and the advancement of His Kingdom.

'These things says He who is holy, He who is true, He who has the key of David, He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens: I know your works. See I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it." Rev. 3:7.'

The House of Representatives extends its sincere congratulations and directs this tribute to be presented on this 19th day of January 2012.

(Signed) Robert F. Gilligan, Speaker of the House
Richard L. Puffer, Chief Clerk of the House
Representative Daniel B., Short, Sponsor

Republican Jesus Joins Team Romney

Now for something completely different.

I'm not much for frilly pink organizations, but you got to give the godly not-men at the Susan G. Komen Foundation a lot of credit for their honesty.

Screenshot of the Komen.org website taken at about 11:00 PDT, Feb. 1, 2012:

Where No Dachshund Has Gone Before

Dr. Patrick L. Wooden, Sr.
Upper Room Church of God in Christ
National Organization for Marriage

Dear Pastor Wooden,

As a fellow warrior in the battle against homosexualism, I thought I knew everything there was to know about it. I mean, hey, like you, I think about homosexualist sex every waking and sleeping moment. But after listening to your interview on the Michael Signorile show, I realized that I still have a lot to learn.

Your statements alerted me to homosexualist problems and actions I never dreamed were possible. I was particularly shocked to learn (at about 4:45 in recording):

[Same sex spelunking in the cave of shame] is going to lead a grown man in his 50s or such to wear a diaper or a quote, butt plug, end of quote, just to contain their bowels.

and (at about 8:04):

I've talked about the practice of fisting, where one man takes his fist and puts it into the orifice of the man up to his forearm and in some case up to the armpit.

Although Mr. Signorile disputed your claims--I don't think he's fully committed to the heterosexual lifestyle--I'm convinced you were speaking the truth. I know for a fact that a man can shove a hell of a lot of things up his cave of shame.

Like you, I won't name names or provide other kinds of secular evidence, but there's a guy in my militia who fell on a dachshund, and the damned thing went all the way up his butt. All you could feel if you reached down there was the very tip of his tail.

A dachshund is a pretty damned big thing to have stuffed up your cave of shame. And it hurts like hell even if it's muzzled and has little lubed-up booties covering its claws...uh...or so my militia trooper tells me.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

p.s. Col. Cletis might send you a note if he hears that I wrote you. He's a compulsive liar. Don't believe a god damned word he says. uh, The, uh, guy fell on the dachshund, dammit. And besides, I was drunk, and Sheila, our militia morale ewe, was angry with me.

Elsewhere: Partial transcript of the interview.

Recording of full interview:

Ron Paul is Proudly White; He Just Doesn't Like to Talk About It

Talking Points Memislamunistofascists thinks it caught Ron Paul in a lie. Citing Paul's secretary, they say he wasn't being truthful when he claimed he wasn't responsible for his own newsletters:

It was his newsletter, and it was under his name, so he always got to see the final product. . . . He would proof it,” said Renae Hathway, a former secretary in Paul’s company and a supporter of the Texas congressman.

What TPM fails to consider is that both Paul and his secretary may be telling the truth. Perhaps Paul reviewed the newsletters and told the editor to replace the words "blacks" and "Jews" with "Nigras" and "Hebes." If the editor failed to make such changes, Paul is not responsible for the final product.

Still, some proudly white Americans are concerned that Paul isn't as proudly white as he could be. Teutonic heritage enthusiast Commander Bill White is one of them:

I have kept quiet about the Ron Paul campaign for a while, because I didn't see any need to say anything that would cause any trouble. However, reading the latest release from his campaign spokesman, I am compelled to tell the truth about Ron Paul's extensive involvement in white nationalism.

Both Congressman Paul and his aides regularly meet with members of the Stormfront set, American Renaissance, the Institute for Historic Review, and others at the Tara Thai restaurant in Arlington, Virginia, usually on Wednesdays. This is part of a dinner that was originally organized by Pat Buchanan, Sam Francis and Joe Sobran, and has since been mostly taken over by the Council of Conservative Citizens.

I have attended these dinners, seen Paul and his aides there, and been invited to his offices in Washington to discuss policy.

For his spokesman to call white racialism a "small ideology" and claim white activists are "wasting their money" trying to influence Paul is ridiculous. Paul is a white nationalist of the Stormfront type who has always kept his racial views and his views about world Judaism quiet because of his political position.

I don't know that it is necessarily good for Paul to "expose" this. However, he really is someone with extensive ties to white nationalism and for him to deny that in the belief he will be more respectable by denying it is outrageous -- and I hate seeing people in the press who denounce racialism merely because they think it is not fashionable.

Bill White, Commander
American National Socialist Workers Party

Godfearing Legislator Urges Lawmakers to Hang OB/GYNs

North Carolina Rep. Larry Pittman writes:

If murderers (and I would include abortionists, rapists, and kidnappers, as well) are actually executed, it will at least have the deterrent effect upon them. For my money, we should go back to public hangings, which would be more of a deterrent to others, as well.