Celebrating free speech, BYU style

David Magleby
Dean of the College of Family, Home, and Social Sciences
Brigham Young University

Dear Dr. Magleby,

It's not easy for a liberal-infested academic institution to openly show its support for Our Leader's Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution. It's even harder for such an institution to put those revolutionary principles into practice. That's why I'm so proud that the university of my people, BYU, chose to celebrate free speech by banning the showing of a politically-themed documentary.

Of course I'm referring to your decision to bar the film, This Divided State, from being shown on campus. It was the right thing to do. Our adult children shouldn't be exposed to "cuss words" like the ones used in that film. Expletives in political documentaries may not be a big deal in the secular world, but dang it, hearing them is a gateway sin--eventually, it will lead to greater sins like drinking coffee or playing dominoes. Thank our Heavenly Father, you were there to intervene.

It's too bad that such filth is being passed off as art now days. It makes it hard for those of us who try to avoid worldly temptations--the peer pressure to see R-rated pornography like Schindler's List can be very hard to resist. Thankfully, with a little prayer, and a lot of red punch and green jello we can find the strength needed to resist such temptation.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Elsewhere: my review of This Divided State

Music to assault old ladies by

Here are a couple of great tunes by reader and lapsed commenter (don't make me call that man in Seattle) Hilfiger Tout:

Grayback - An anthem for Our Leader's America

Republican Jesus - The favorite hymn of blastocyst-Americans everywhere

Acts of the Apostles

"Sides are being chosen, and the future of man hangs in the balance!" The enemies of virtue may be on the march, but they have not won, and if we put our trust in Christ they never will. ... It is for us then to do as our heroes have always done and put our faith in the perfect redeeming love of Jesus Christ."
--Tom DeLay

Pastor Delay's redeeming love.

Republican Jesus mugs and shirts available here

Republican Jesus Archives.

Goin' with their strengths

After reading this, this, and this, I've finally figured out what this page at ready.gov means:

Tips and getting together

I'm away from home for a few days and forgot to turn off my mail client. That means my email is downloaded at home before I get to read it. So if you have a tip about something that might interest me, please post it to this post's comments.

I'm thinking about going to see Kos and Jerome at their book thing in Oly on Saturday and infiltrating Drinking Liberally in Seattle on Tuesday. So, if any of you are interested in getting together, I'll see you there. BTW, I think I've talked Ofjoshua into coming to Kos' thing, so you can meet her too.

Another Republican endorses Lieberman

Jeff Gannon weighs in on Joe Lieberman. My efforts to contact Ned Lamont to get his reaction were unsuccessful.

The Lincoln Defense

Rep. Virgil H. Goode, Jr.
US House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Goode,

I applaud your recent statement condemning those who wave Mexican flags at immigrant human rights rallies, but I worry that such comments might come back to haunt you. How will you respond when some French-loving traitor asks you why you don't also condemn our Confederate patriots who proudly wave the Stars and Bars at rallies and parades? You can't just simply say that it's OK because they're white--not in public, anyway.

Let's think about this for a minute. On the one hand, we have a flag belonging to a country we invaded because they stood between us and Manifest Destiny. We were the victors in that war and took most of what is now the Western United States as our prize.

On the other hand, we have a flag flown by those who wished to tear the United States apart. Although it represents all that Godly men like you and me revere, it is symbolic of treachery and racism to most everyone else.

I don't think we have a winning argument there. Let's look at it another way.

What do The Mexican War and The War of Northern Aggression have in common? Do you remember your history? The answer is that Abraham Lincoln was on the wrong side of both. In the decade before he waged war on our beloved Confederacy, he spoke out against the Mexican War. Indeed, he was that era's Michael Moore. He believed it was an unnecessary war based on lies and fought solely for corporate gain.

I think that's our hook. You've attacked Lincoln in the past, so using that old emancipating tyrant to tar both Confederate flag haters and Mexican flag wavers makes perfect sense.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Crafty Lefties (Part II)

I try to share a little conservative wisdom with the world and how am I repaid? I get a Koufax Award for humor. Humor! What kind of sick joke is that?

I'm a patriot, dammit. We don't have a humorous bone in our bodies. Just look at who we have for comedians: Dennis Miller, Larry Miller, and Kate O'Bierne. Case closed.

Now look at all of the French blogs that were nominated for the same award. They're all a heck of a lot more funny than Jesus' General (and I mean the good kind of funny). See for yourself:

Michael Berube

Dependable Renegade

Fafblog

Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

The Poor Man Institute

Rising Hegemon

Rude Pundit

Sadly, No!

Tbogg

If I was cursed with a sense of humor. I'd be laughing my ass off whenever I read any of these blogs. They're all incredibly funny. But God's blessed me with more Republican sensibilities, so the only reaction I have is that vein-throbbing-in-the-forehead thing and some minor chafing that I'd rather not get into right now. So screw 'em.

You hear that Tbogg, you lording-your-two-bassets-over-one-basset-endowed-families-son-of-a-bitch. Screw you.

You too Berube, you seditious bastard. You have Horowitz so rattled, he was thrown out of Safeway for denouncing the kielbasas the other day.

And what kind of name is Watertiger anyway? Doesn't sound very American. Not very manly sounding either. I hope you meet Michelle Malkin in a dark alley.

Fafblog? There's something intrinsically evil about a blogging lobster. It's not kosher. I have no idea what the hell a fafnir is, but I bet it's an abomination. Then there's Giblets. I can't even write that name without blushing.

Norbizness? There's just something very wrong about a man having happy furry puppy time. You can bet Our Deputy Leader never had it, and if he did, he'd probably have shot it in the face.

Attaturk, you're so freaking clever. I hate that in a man. It's not patriotic.

I have only one thing to say to the folks at Sadly No: you'll get my Ben Shapiro porn when you pry it from my cold, wet, and rather sticky hands.

As for the Editors, if they don't stop using that photo of me I'm going to sue. My sideburns and mustache should only be used for good.

Mr. Pundit. You scare me. I don't want to get on your bad side.

I command my readers to buy your CD. If I had a sense of humor, I'd say it's funniest CD I've ever heard. Heck, it's even better than anything I've heard on vinyl--even that Cheech and Chong album I owned in '76, the one Mitch's dad called the Bishop about.

Are we OK now Mr. Pundit or should I send you my lunch money.

Seriously, as I looked over all of the nominations, I thought "this one should get it this year. It's hilarious." Then I'd look at the next one and think, "no, this one had that really funny post about that one thing. It deserves to win." It was like that with each one. Your blogs are incredible. It was very humbling to be listed with you.

Thanks to the readers too. I love you all in an Ofjoshua-approved heterosexual kind of way. You are the best.

Update: Thank you mz for putting it into its proper perspective:

You should take enormous solace in the fact that your French enemies spent their time trying to marginalize you, instead of America.

Si, Se Puede

Wearing cammies to make me invisible, I infiltrated an immigrant anti-persecution march in Yakima, WA today. Two thousand people were there. That's a huge march for a city of that size. It's equal to three percent of the population of Yakima. It's equivalent to a turnout of 17,000 in Seattle, 114,000 in Los Angeles, or 240,000 in New York.

And that scares the hell out of this patriot. It makes me wonder if immigrants are as hated as the media tells us they are. Could it be that people are putting a face to their cheap produce; their inexpensive restaurant fare; their low construction labor costs? Will it eventually lead to the ending of the exploitation of foreign workers? And if that happens, what next? Will people start thinking about the Chinese prisoners slaving away in prison camps to bring us Wal-Mart's low prices.

Immigration is a difficult issue. The owners in Our Leader's ownership society need a workforce they can exploit beyond the limits allowed by law. Undocumented aliens fill that role, because, being undocumented, they cannot complain about being victimized. Now, we've come to a point where the demand for an exploitable workforce has become so great, it's hard to hide all of the brown faces we're bringing into fill it.

That scares the hell out of the rest of us white people, and when we get scared we demand that our government bomb someone. The House of Representatives, being the body that most closely represents white people, did just that in their immigration bill by making it a felony to assist undocumented aliens.

The Senate, being the more rational body, is looking at a different bill, one that focuses more on allaying the fears of the owners, the only group of people who really matter in Our Leader's America. Their bill will create an underclass of workers who can be legally victimized. The owners hope that these "guestworkers" will overfill the demand for labor and thus allow for a weakening of labor protections generally.

The more traitorous among us might suggest that there is a third way. They'd say reward those who've toiled here so long by giving them citizenship, and then pass a law levying harsh penalties against those who hire undocumented aliens in the future. Of course, this third way does nothing to either calm our fear of brown people or provide our owners with cheap, exploitable labor, so such a solution won't be discussed in the media or the halls of government.

Here are a few pictures from the march.

OYE Bingo is sweeping the nation.

From the Frederick News-Post:

Partygoers could pick up an Operation Yellow Elephant bingo card, which was marked with responses they believe young Republicans give when asked why they are not serving in the military.

If you haven't been to Operation Yellow Elephant Blog lately, you're missing all the good work they're doing there.

Hannicatch of the week

Sean Hannity fan and Baptist preacher, TitanLightning42, is looking for a change. This self-described Titan "heroine" has been dating himself for nearly twelve years, but when heavy petting became the main focus of the relationship, he knew it was time to begin seeing someone else.



Previous Hannicatches:

Wants stupid woman with big breasts.

No Coloreds

Republican Fundraiser

Kentucky Thoroughbred

Headlights of Morality