David Horowitz, NSA Spymaster

David Horowitz
Total Information Awareness Overlord
Discover The Network

Dear Mr. Horowitz,

I'm a big admirer of the work you've done on your Discover the Network project. It couldn't have been easy linking people like Michael Bérubé, Karen Armstrong, and Jay Leno to Osama Bin Laden and the Blind Sheik.

Now it looks like all that hard work has finally paid off. I mean, what New Scientist is describing here, or at least in the last sentence of what I've quoted below, is Discover the Network, isn't it?

"I AM continually shocked and appalled at the details people voluntarily post online about themselves." So says Jon Callas, chief security officer at PGP, a Silicon Valley-based maker of encryption software. He is far from alone in noticing that fast-growing social networking websites such as MySpace and Friendster are a snoop's dream.

New Scientist has discovered that Pentagon's National Security Agency, which specialises in eavesdropping and code-breaking, is funding research into the mass harvesting of the information that people post about themselves on social networks. And it could harness advances in internet technology - specifically the forthcoming "semantic web" championed by the web standards organisation W3C - to combine data from social networking websites with details such as banking, retail and property records, allowing the NSA to build extensive, all-embracing personal profiles of individuals.

[...]

Meanwhile, the NSA is pursuing its plans to tap the web, since phone logs have limited scope. They can only be used to build a very basic picture of someone's contact network, a process sometimes called "connecting the dots". Clusters of people in highly connected groups become apparent, as do people with few connections who appear to be the intermediaries between such groups. The idea is to see by how many links or "degrees" separate people from, say, a member of a blacklisted organisation.

Oh and BTW, I haven't heard back from you about my request to have my box turtle, Pokey, added to the list. I hope you'll consider it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Vote if it's helpful to you

My review of Mr. Coulter's book, "Godless." is finally up at Amazon. Interestingly, they decided that it deserved to have its premier on something like 63rd page, but there is still hope. If enough people click on the "This review is helpful" button, the review will be spotlighted.

Update: And Ntodd needs your clicks.

Update: Amazon deleted it, but you can still read it here.

Update III: It's back and it's spotlighted.

Vengeance

Rep. Marilyn Musgrave
United States Congress

Dear Rep. Musgrave,

I was very sorry to hear about the recent assault against your office. Some people might think shoving an envelope full of dog doody into a mail slot is funny, but unlike your local police department, national-security-oriented bloggers like myself see it for what it truly is, a biological attack launched by Francoliberalislamunists from Mexico.

Unfortunately, your options for retaliation are rather limited. We've already revoked most of the Bill of Rights. All that's really left is the Third Amendment, and although the quartering of soldiers in private homes sounds like a good idea at first, in practice, it means having brown people in the house. Think of the panic that would cause. There aren't enough countries in the world we could nuke to ease that kind of fear.

Thankfully, you won't have to take such drastic measures. You have the backing of one of the Heartland's greatest heritage appreciation societies, the sheet-clad Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. As a Klan-endorsed candidate, you are entitled to all the benefits the Klan has to offer. That includes a cross burning at a residence of your choice.

Now, I know you've been hoping to save it for a Planned Parenthood Clinic or a migrant worker camp, but you can't let this kind of dog crapping go unpunished. Mrs Ensz must be forced to pay for her act of terrorism. I say you cash in on your cross burning privileges at her house.

Heterosexually yours in a way of which my wife, Ofjoshua, would approve,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

I get mail.

Lt. Col. C. LeMay Thumper reports in.

Horse's Ass Radio

Goldy, the treacherous Frenchman who brought down Our Leader's beloved Brownie, has infiltrated our most sacred institution, talk radio. Unfortunately, I'm told that one of our own, Stefan Sharkansky, Official Towel Boy of the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution, played a role in bringing him to the attention of his new employer.

It's a damned shame. I bet Goldy doesn't even believe in Jesus.

Make Gore do the honorable thing.

I keep forgetting to post about the Five Dollar Primary at Draft Gore 2008. Go there now and cast your vote.

Remember my plan: If we can force Gore to face the draft, he might do the honorable thing and, like Our Leader, Deputy Leader, and so many other great neocons, get a deferment, run to Canada, or join the National Guard and then go AWOL.

Mr. Coulter's Godless Goodness

I'm wondering if I've become persona non grata at Amazon. They seldom post my reviews anymore and most of my old ones have been deleted. We'll see if this one for Mr. Coulter's book, Godless, gets posted.

Republican Jesus wins out, June 7, 2006
Reviewer: Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States)

I've always been a huge fan of Mr. Coulter. How can you not love someone who calls for the bombing of newspapers, demands the conversion of non-Christians by the sword, and mocks the grieving of Cindy Sheehan for her son and the 911 widows for their husbands. Coulter's popularity is the ultimate proof that America has rejected the old, compassionate, French-minded Jesus of the Beatitudes and adopted the Jesus of Our Leader, a savior who isn't afraid to kick butt and slay nations, a redeemer who despises the weak and belittles the grieving.

The logic Coulter employs in "Godless" is impeccable. Liberals, she proclaims, detest science. They ignore the empirically observable truth that God fashioned Eve from Adam's rib while they promote superstitious Darwinism. They deny the science supporting the use of adult stem cells to cure disease because "Liberals just want to kill humans." How can you argue with that?

Le Scoobie has a whole blog devoted to Godless goodness.

Olberman hates Jesus.

Reviews by other god-fearing patriots:

MUST BUY! A+ for the STRAIGHT TRUTH! 2006
Reviewer: Big Duke "Vote Republican to save the USA" (Land of the Still Free)

Liberals, Hippies, COmmies, and Islam Loving Peaceniks will despise this book and author, but it is a MUST BUY for any true, patriotic, christian American.

FOrget about the liberal coasts, and french loving Hollywood filth peddlers, Ann hits them square in the chops with this factual truth filled book exposing the Liberal elites as the country traitors they are.

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A Little Bit of Hatred in the Right Places is a Good Thing
Reviewer: Karl Baxter (Inverurie, Aberdeenshire)

One irrate Liberal 'reviwer' refers to Ann Coulter as a 'spewer of hatred' as if hating stuff was somehow unnatural...Yes, let's only write nice affirmative things about each other UNTIL WE DE-EVOLVE BACK INTO AMOEBA!!! Judgement, discrimination, and selection are all positive forces for improvement, even if they are sometimes powered by hatred.

Personally I believe that a little bit of hatred in the right places is a good thing. Coulter's not perfect - indeed I regard her as very PC on race (I'm an Amren man myself) - but she's a lot better than all the Liberals she's got frothing at the mouth.

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WOW...RIGHT ON ANN COULTER...YOU'VE GOT THEM RUNNING NOW!!!!
Reviewer: Gerard "Rogue" (Florence, Arizona)

WOW, THIS STUFF IS GREAT!!! I WISH ANN COULTER WAS MY COMMANDING OFFICER IN THE U.S. MARINE CORPS WHEN I WAS IN 30 YEARS AGO....I'D FOLLOW HER INTO BATTLE AGAINST THE LIBERAL LEFT IDIOTS WHO ARE DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY WITH THEIR INSANITY AND LUNACY ANY DAY!!! I'M THINKING ABOUT GOING OUT AND BUYING A BUNCH OF THESE BOOKS AS SOON AS I GET SOME EXTRA MONEY AND DISTRIBUTE THEM TO ALL OF MY STUDENTS IN MY "ADULT LIFE SKILLS CLASSES" AT THE PRISON FACILITY. ANN, YOUR BOOKS ARE A GREAT HIT WITH THE INMATES.

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Anne Coulter is smart sexy and christian- a tripple threat
Reviewer: Loves to read "bob" (california)

I love Anne Coulter so much that I was waiting at the door when Barnes and Nobles opened this morning. I ran to the counter, "give me Coulter", I yelled. I read it by lunch, let me tell you this- Coulter gave it to me. And she gave it to me good. Just the way I like to get it- straight to the point and not gay.

Thanks Dad

Dear Dad,

Thanks for the gorilla testosterone, beer holster, and Confederate army pants, but please refrain from sending me any more dog hearts or cat livers.

Respectfully,

your son

More at Femmes De Guérillero Du Tennessee.

Fragged by a fellow fighting keyboarder

One of the things in life of which I'm most proud is my service to my country as a soldier in the 101st "Fighting Keyboarders" Brigade. Every night, risking weight gain and carpal tunnel syndrome and armed only with a bag of Cheetos, a computer, and talking points I've gleaned from Fox News and the guy who yells at the pigeons at 6th and Yessler, I courageously post long rants against the French, homosexuals, brown people, cartoon characters, and any other terrorist group that dares question Our Leader's policies.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for my fellow fighting keyboarders. They're some of the bravest people I know. But, if pressed, I'd have to say that there are a couple for whom my respect exceeds all others. One of them is Ace of Ace of Spades, a man so committed to our Christian values, he's adopted the death card as his own personal coat of arms. You have to like a guy who enjoys bloodshed so much he's decided to embrace it as the defining feature his on-line persona.

That's why I was so hurt when he attacked me for my post about Mrs. Malkins values. You may remember it. It consisted of two graphics showing kids wearing military clothing and/or carrying guns. The first one featured American children and was labeled, "good."

The second graphic featured photos I found at Mrs. Malkin's blog. I labeled it, "bad." One of the photos pictured a kid in martyr gear holding an assault rife. The other showed a child being held by his Second-Amendment-loving father. Mrs. Malkin used the photos to justify the righteous, toddlercidal acts committed at Al Haditha.

Mr. Ace mistakenly thought I considered the nationalistic, brown, Islamunist children to be morally equivalent to nationalistic, god-fearing, white, Christianist kids. Nothing could be further from the truth. Heck, I labeled one graphic, "good," and the other, "bad," didn't I? I guess Mr. Ace missed those subtle clues.

To ensure that no one else makes the same mistake regarding my intention in making that post, I'm going to compare the reasons why the parents of these kids might dress their children up like that.

The Islamunist parents' reasons:

• To teach the children that fighting for their false God is a righteous act.
• To teach the children the importance of standing up against the benevolent oppressors who occupy their land for their own good.
• To teach the children that Christianists are out to destroy them in a crusade.

The Christianist parents' reasons:

• To teach the children that fighting for the one true God is a righteous act.
• To teach the children the importance of oppressing brown people, occupying their land, and killing them for their own good.
• To teach the children that Islamunists are out to destroy them in a jihad.

You see, I'm listing huge differences here. I don't see how anyone could accuse me of making moral equivalences.

I will admit, however, that Mrs. Malkin and I both made a mistake. The kid pictured in the right-hand photo of the "bad" graphic shouldn't be used as an example of a proto-terrorist. He isn't packing heat or wearing Hamas gear. We probably should have used this little foreign unbeliever instead.

WA Utilities Commission seeks public comment on NSA spying

My inner Frenchman is forcing me to post the following letter he received from the Washington Utilities and Transportation Commission. He says that it's very important that citizens of Washington State submit comments. My inner Frenchman knows how these things work. The more comments the Commission gets, the more pressure they'll feel to do something.

Follow the rules and submit valid comments. Pay special attention to the question about WAC 480-120-202. Make a persuasive argument that it applies.

You should also copy your comments to Gov. Gregoire.

Here's what the WA ACLU has to say, and here is their argument for an investgation. The latter should help you draft your own comments. Use it as a guide, but use your own words.

June 2, 2006

NOTICE OF OPPORTUNITY TO COMMENT

(Comments due: June 30, 2006)
(Answering comments due: July 17, 2006)

RE: ACLU Request for Investigation
Docket UT-060856

TO ALL INTERESTED PERSONS:

The American Civil Liberties Union of Washington Foundation has asked the Commission to open an investigation into possible violations of law or rule. Its letter, filed May 25, 2006, called attention to recently-publicized allegations that some telephone companies have released certain customer calling information to, and at the request of, the United States Government. In response, the Commission scheduled the request for preliminary consideration in conjunction with the May 31, 2006, Commission open meeting.

At the meeting, the commissioners heard comments from the ACLU, Verizon, AT&T, and the Public Counsel Section of the Washington State Office of the Attorney General. The Commission also received information from its senior counsel about possible legal issues associated with the request and from staff about the administrative processes available to the Commission if it decides to conduct an investigation.

The Commission decided to ask for comments from interested persons on the threshold legal and jurisdictional issues relevant to the request for investigation, and to reconvene after having the opportunity to consider the submissions. Specifically, it invites comments on the following preliminary questions:

• Does WAC 480-120-202 or any other state law or regulation prohibit a regulated telephone company or its affiliated interests from providing customer telephone calling information to the National Security Agency (NSA)?
• Does the Commission have the legal authority to compel a regulated telephone company or its affiliates to disclose whether it has provided customer calling information to the NSA?
• Does the Commission have the legal authority to compel regulated telephone companies or their affiliates to release relevant information about such allegations?
• Would an assertion of the military and state secrets privilege by the United States Government preclude the Commission from taking action against a regulated telecommunications company?
• If the Commission decides to investigate the matter raised in the ACLUÂ?s May 25, 2006, letter, which procedural options would be most appropriate? (e.g., informal investigation, formal investigation, complaint).

Notice of Opportunity to Comment:

The Commission asks interested persons to respond to these questions, or others that they deem relevant to the limited topic under consideration, on the following schedule:

Opening comments: June 30, 2006

Answering comments: July 17, 2006

The Commission requests that comments be provided in electronic format to enhance public access, for ease of providing comments, to reduce the need for paper copies, and to facilitate quotations from the comments. Comments may be submitted by electronic mail to the commission's Records Center at records@wutc.wa.gov. Please include:

• The docket number of this proceeding (UT-060856).
• The commenting party's name.
• ·The title and date of the comment or comments.

An alternative method for submitting comments is by mailing/delivering an electronic copy on a 3 ½ inch, IBM-formatted, high density disk, in .pdf Adobe Acrobat format or in .doc MSWord 97 or later. Include all the information requested above. The Commission will post on its web site all comments that are provided in electronic format. The web site is located at http://www.wutc.wa.gov/060856. If you are unable to file your comments electronically or to submit them on a disk, the Commission will always accept a paper document.

Notice of Consideration:

The Commission plans to consider the comments and possible ensuing process in conjunction with its July 26, 2006, open meeting.

If you have questions, please call David Danner, Executive Director, at (360) 664-1208 or by e-mail at ddanner@wutc.wa.gov.

Sincerely,


CAROLE J. WASHBURN
Executive Secretary

Paris Hilton: victim of tax internment

The hypocrisy of the French-minded traitors among us never ceases to amaze me. They're constantly whining about things like the race-based internment of Japanese-Americans, but ignoring even greater crimes like the taxation of the wealthy. It's as if they believe that it's OK to progressively tax those whom God blessed with wealth but it's a terrible crime to imprison brown people for the crime of being descendents of foreigners.

But that's enough from me. My landsman, Chris Jolley of American Fork, Utah, says it better in a letter to the University of Washington's alumni magazine:

As a conservative, I feel compelled to respond to the liberals wallowing in their anti-American mire. I know that liberals love to feel guilty about being wealthy Americans. I can accept that, even though I won't feel guilty about it. I recognize that America is great and wealthy because of our liberty. It is no accident.

One of the key differences between liberals and conservatives is that liberals always put themselves ahead of their country and conservatives put their country ahead of themselves. Much of the information presented and implied was how much the Nisei students were required to personally sacrifice for their country. I find their sacrifices great and worth reporting and even honoring. While I appreciate their sacrifices, I don't find the government guilty of any crimes against them. The government did what it had to do to win the war.

They weren't the only ones who were required to sacrifice. First and foremost are the soldiers who risked and gave their lives (including soldiers of Japanese descent). Other regular citizens were required to ration gasoline, rubber, steel, etc. Speed limits were reduced to conserve gasoline...

If I belonged to a group that had members who threatened the security of this country, I would willingly go to an "assembly center." It seems like a logical sacrifice. It wouldn't be enjoyable, but if it meant saving my country from destruction, I would rather spend some time in a camp than have my family beheaded for practicing a Christian religion. But then I'm conservative, and I put my country ahead of myself.

Japanese, Italians and Germans aren't the only groups that have been singled out in relation to our nation's security. Even currently, people with higher incomes are singled out to pay higher taxes. They haven't committed any crimes any more than the Nisei students did.

A helmet tip to reader Emily and a photo credit to Mary Richer.

Maybe he should have considered wrestling

Derek Stevens
Real Estate Developer
Candidate, Bend City Council

Dear Mr. Stevens,

I don't know why so many people are offended by your posts at the Gorillamask Spank Bank Forum. Especially the one where you posted the photo of the television reporter who interviewed you, calling her a "little hotty." Sure, the post encouraged other comments like "[you] shoulda knocked her out and had your way with her" and "[she] would look nice knocked out and curled up in the trunk of my car," but you deftly handled them by making complimentary comments about the reporter's body.

What these people don't realize is that after years of feminist and homosexual propaganda, men who seek important positions in government have to go to tremendous lengths to prove their heterosexuality. Heck, it's bigger than that. It's true for all men these days, regardless of whether they're running for office or not.

That's why we gather to objectify women at forums like Gorillamask Spank Bank. It provides us with an opportunity to revert back to our adolescence, a time when things like the appearance of pubic hair and the ability to produce potent man juice finally convinced us that we were indeed men just like our fathers, but perhaps even more importantly, our adolescent-like objectification of women allows us to allay our fears that we might be mistaken for homosexuals.

But perhaps posting misogynistic comments to a soft porn site isn't the best way for a politically ambitious man to prove his heterosexual bona fides. Our Leader's new Secretary of the Treasury, Henry M. Paulson Jr, has a better way of doing it. He challenges his colleagues to wrestling matches. Nothing proclaims a man's heterosexuality better than grappling another guy's sweaty body while clothed only in a spandex singlet.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to reader Jane for pointing me to the info about Sec. Paulson's wrestling passion.

Conservative greetings to all on the eve of Our Leader's homosexual discrimination meeting

I hope Our Leader gives out these posters when He meets with our country's moral leadership.

Mrs. Malkin's sacrifice

Michelle Malkin
Anti-Immigrant Activist

Dear Mrs. Malkin,

I know you've already given a lot for this country. Your courageous defense of everything from toddlercide to concentration camps has inspired us all. However, there is one more thing you must do for your country, and unfortunately, it calls for you to make a tremendous sacrifice.

One of the greatest dangers we face as a nation--a danger you've noted on your own blog--is the growing numbers of "anchor babies:"

During my book tour across the country for Invasion, this issue came up time and again. In the Southwest, everyone has a story of heavily pregnant women crossing the Mexican border to deliver their "anchor babies." At East Coast hospitals, tales of South Korean "obstetric tourists" abound. (An estimated 5,000 South Korean anchor babies are born in the US every year). And, of course, there's a terrorism angle...The time is ripe to reassess drive-by citizenship and what it means to be an American.

Indeed, it is a tremendous problem. Just in the last week, a poster at your own immigration blog called it a "recipe for social disaster," and Rep Dave Reichert (R-Mescaline), reported that border area parking lots are becoming little more than large open air maternity wards, awash with discarded placentas and the wrappers of those nasty tamarind flavored candies from Mexico.

So how does all of this lead me to ask you to make a sacrifice? Well, it's come to my attention that you too may be an "anchor baby." Just a little over thirty-six years ago, it appears that a foreign sperm cell hooked up with a foreign egg somewhere near Manila and a Blastocyst-Filipina named proto-Michelle was formed. Within a few weeks, little proto-Michelle moved from the Philippines to New York City where she finally acquired "drive-by citizenship" on Oct. 20, 1970.

Now that this is out in the open, you must renounce your citizenship. Given your previous statements about "anchor babies," it's the only honorable thing you can do.

You can rest assured that your sacrifice will help your beloved anti-immigrant movement immensely, and that you'll continue to have our eternal gratitude long after we demand your deportation.

Heterosexually yours in a way of which my wife, Ofjoshua, would approve,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to commenter LG Fucktard.