My Lieberman ad

Although I enjoyed Joe Lieberman's latest ad, I thought it could be improved upon.

Here's what I came up with (it's animated and fairly large, so those of you with dialups might have to wait a couple of minutes).



It's the least I could do for a man who's served Our Leader so enthusiastically.

Net Neutrality

The telephone companies bought another ad at Jesus' General. It's the one on the right about the future of the internet. Considering the telcos' past, I'm guessing that part of that future includes spying on us for the NSA. That and selling the internet to Wal-Mart. That's what Our Leader's "Ownership Society" is all about, keeping the owned powerless.

Of course, there are those who'd rather keep the internets in their current state of godless anarchy, and they're making videos like this one.

Wankettery

I'm waiting for Wankette at Lac Chien du Feu.

Amnistía

Sen. John Cornyn
United States Senate

Dear Sen. Cornyn,

As a Republican, I don't think I've ever been prouder of one of our senators than I was today when you rose to address the terrorist amnesty issue. Like you, I don't think the US Senate should condemn the Iraqi Prime Minister for offering amnesty to terrorists who kill our soldiers. Why waste time on it? It's not like our military is staffed with College Republicans; most of our soldiers are brown or poor. If pardoning their killers allows Prime Minister Maliki to pump more oil, more power to him.

The Senate has far more important issues to address. I don't thing there's been a vote on flag burning yet, has there? And don't we owe it to America's box turtles to take another shot at the homosexual discrimination amendment?

But perhaps more importantly, shouldn't you take a few hours off from legislating to take care of this? After all, it's more than a little embarrassing for someone who supported the "English as the National Language" bill to have a Spanish-language web site.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Enlist Today!

Rush is right...

...when he calls Chuck Schumer's party the "Democrat Party" rather than the "Democratic Party."



I hope this doesn't motivate the real members of Democratic Party to donate to Lamont. His mouth ain't as purdy as Lieberman's. I doubt Our Leader would want to smooch with him.

They're back

Every time Fanfir, Giblets, or Medium Lobster posts, Satan kicks President Reagan in the nuts.

And Mike Tidmus helps out Mr. Coulter by designing a new cover for his book.

What's that smell?

Dan Bartlett and Tony Snow of the Ministry of Truth bravely get a first hand look at the daily lives of our soldiers stationed in Baghdad's Green Zone.

A reading from the Gospel of Left Behind

Left Behind 4:3-10

3 And Ben went up into the land of Manhattan, armed righteously with the word of God, an SKS assault rifle, a British commando knife, and nunchucks he had fashioned out of hard oak whilst the shop teacher was away, partaking of tobacco.

4 At the place called the Square of Time, he came upon a multitude of clubites. Ben saw that they were loathsome in the eyes of the Lord for their women dressed immodestly and chatted in the manner of those who partake of little pills and strong drink.

5 Ben said unto them, "Do you accept Our Lord Jesus as your own, personal savior?"

6 And the multitude responded, each in his own manner. "Let's hug," cried the starry-eyed man with the chartreuse fauxhawk. "Come clubbing with us," demanded another. And thus it was so with all of the clubites for Techno had banished their love for our Savior from their hearts.

7 Ben, filled with anger at their words, looked upon the nearby buildings, searching for she-bears, so that he might command them to consume the clubites, just as the prophet Elisha commanded she-bears to devour the children who mocked his baldness.

8 Finding no she-bears to help him, Ben descended upon the multitude, alone, slaying them with automatic gunfire until his rifle was empty, and then smiting their heads with his Terrible Numchucks of Godly Vengeance.

9 And when his work was finished, Ben went among the bodies, and he cut off their ears, both those of the right and of the left, gathering them into a great pile. From this pile, he selected every tenth ear as a tithe and fashioned them into a necklace as an offering to the Lord.

10 And the Lord God looked upon Ben's offering and said, "It is good."

Wow

Just watch it.

Thank you Jill,

The General's Inner Frenchman

Amazon spotlights my Godless review

Update II It's up again. I can't help but wonder if a couple if Amazon managers are having a tug-o-war over this.

Update: they removed it again. I sent them another email.

You can still read it here.

Amazon put my review of Mr. Coulter's book, Godless, back up, but they edited out the words "kick butt." Anyway, it's now their "Spotlight Review."



I think that's it for tonight. I apologize for not posting more, but I'm trying to get over a virus and I need to get some sleep.

We must destroy Gitmo in order to save it

Rear Admiral Harry B. Harris, Jr.
Commander, JTF-Guantanamo

Dear Adm. Harris,

I don't envy you. Commanding the Gitmo Center for Eternal Detention has to be one of the toughest jobs in the military. You constantly have to match wits with the meanest, most devious goatherds, falafel vendors, and taxi drivers on the planet.

I think you've correctly identified the cause of the recent rash of suicides at Gitmo. Our internal enemies, abetted by the media, would have us believe that the suicides were acts of extreme desperation committed by men driven insane by torture and isolation. But you know better. These suicides, as you told The Telegraph, were nothing less than "an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us."

So now the truth is out. Camp Delta is under siege and the enemy is in the wire. I've seen a situation like this before. It was in the movie, The Green Berets. If you've seen it, you may recall the scene where the firebase is overrun by Viet Cong and John Wayne responds in the only way he can; he calls in Puff the Magic Dragon to make an airstrike on his own position. That's what you must do, now. You need to destroy Gitmo in order to save it. I hope you're up to the task.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah.

The Adventures of Der Papst vom Opus Dei

More on the Adventures of Der Papst vom Opus Dei at The Sideshow and Is That Legal.

Republican Jesus tees and mugs available here

Republican Jesus Archives.

From Pope Benedict XVI's private archives