The Four Kitties of the Apocalypse

OK, I surrender.

Well, maybe that's not the right way to put it. Let's just say we've turned the corner. Sadly No's war against all that is right and holy is in it's last throes. Yeah, that's it. Mission accomplished.

4th Strike Capability

I'm late entering into the war to end all wars. Best I can tell is Sadly No initiated it, The Editors responded in kind, and a superpower escalated it to the point of nuclear annihilation.

I have no other option but to launch everything I have.





And now for the doomsday weapon:



Update: Blogslut retaliates.

God's a planner and Orrin's a Flipper

Missionary Planning and the Plan of Salvation



Orrin takes on the nutcakes

Liveblogging kittybirth

It's 2:47 AM, and we have two new kittens and probably more on the way. Mrs. (I refuse to even entertain the idea that she might be unmarried) Cat, or more appropriately, Oftom, is hiding under the bed. Ofjoshua and JC II are freaking out. The former has her incredibly beautiful head wedged under the bed, talking to Oftom, and the latter is running around with a cardboard box (because kittens must be placed in a carboard box--it's the law or something). I've been tasked with finding kittybirthing info on the web, because we don't know nuthin 'bout birthin' no kitties.

Update: We have a third kitten. Check that. Now there are four. My suggestions for names are:

Short-Term Visitor,
Gone When Weaned,
Don't Get Attached,
and
God Dammit, I Hope This Is the Last One

Ofjoshua isn't too thrilled with my suggestions. Neither is JC II. His picks are Itsy, Bitsy, Eenie, and Meanie.

The Week in Victory (July 1-July 7)

Pvt. Kilmeade, Hero of the GC3R

He's bloviating here so he doesn't have to fight them over there.

Mad as Zell

Lamont/Lieberman Debate Coverage:
Complete coverage
Lieberman's Republican debate briefing book.
Lamont Blog
A precious moment
A little fact-checking.

More ads:
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Man Whores for Joe

Beatitudes Jesus coddles unbelievers

After reading this, the Red Guard of Our Leader's Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution (GC³R) prepared a special dunce cap for pastordan to wear when we parade him down Main Street and subject him to criticism in the town square.

Watch the cookie jar

From Right on the Right whose Christ-inspired motto is "Liberalism is Like a Frag Grenade Wedged Between America’s Legs."

LISTEN: Via Crusader Radio live Internet feed or WRWL stations at its home page. Please listen or call in. This is the first of what we hope to be many media spotlight moments for Stop the ACLU.

Another media spotlight moment is on it’s way if we can raise some more money. Stop the ACLU has been offered the opportunity to put an ad in the Washington Times for the low prices of $2,500. Help us meet that goal!

Let's just pray that Jay isn't in charge of the fundraising.

Elsewhere: Nedd goes apeshit.

A big helmet tip and salute to Desi.

Bunches of people that talk big behind their computer

Kender is a manly man and one of the patriotsphere's leading intellectuals. You'd better stop talking big behind your computers, or he'll kenderize your French ass:

Part of the reason I started WAR was because I know that libs can’t stand against me in an argument verbally. I type slowly, much, much slower than I talk, and much as I enjoy the discourse online, face to face I can shred leftist arguments so fast that the only way to make a bigger,bloodier mess is to toss a puppy into a tree shredder.

Bunches of people that talk big behind their computer and call people all sorts of names, that is all the Kos-Sacks are.

Give 'em Zell, Joe!

Sen. Joe Lieberman
United States Senate

Dear Sen. Lieberman,

I don't usually help Democrats out with their campaigns, but you're an exception. Given your support for the war, cutting social security, limiting the availability of emergency contraception, and blacklisting college professors, I don't really consider you to be much of a Democrat anyway.

I think a lot of people have forgotten that last one, your attempt to blacklist professors for saying things like, "we need to understand the reasons behind the terrifying hatred directed against the U.S. and find ways to act that will not foment more hatred for generations to come," so I created the enclosed ad to remind them. It features an endorsement from Lynne Chenney, your partner in that effort. It also features a new slogan a friend of mine, Jackie O, created for your campaign: "Give 'em Zell, Joe!" Please feel free to use the ad and slogan in your campaign.



I also created another ad awhile back for a group called "Manwhores for Joe." You're welcome to use it as well.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Support Nedd Kareiva

Keep Nedd in business. Make a donation to the ACLU.

WWCJD

John at Escrocs et Menteurs wonders if Jewish and Israel [and Eliminationist] Blog Award winner Charles Johnson will have anything to say about the Indian River Pogrom. That just shows how out of touch Frenchmen like John are. They don't understand Little Green Footballs' official policy on anti-Semitism: "It didn't happen if brown people didn't do it."

Update: IIRC, stoptheaclu.COM was an LGF advertiser--indeed, their ads are ubiquitous in the patriotsphere. The owner of stoptheaclu.COM says that his blog is unrelated to stoptheaclu.ORG, the website where the name, address, and phone number of the Jewish family were published. Hunter has evidence that stoptheaclu.COM may be lying:

This would be compelling, but in fact the two sites are tightly linked, according to the principals themselves ([http://snipurl.com/sspp]: NO LINK because of obnoxious embedded sound upon loading the page):

Here is a way you can get involved in fighting leftwing lunacy. My blog, stoptheaclu.com is the official blog of stoptheaclu.org. [...] Nedd has put together a form letter and is looking for volunteers to mail them across the nation. The letter simply asks them to visit Stop The ACLU.Org and Stoptheaclu.com and educate themselves about the ACLU. They don't ask for money, or anything like that.

Will the blogs of the patriotsphere condemn one of their own advertisers, like many of us condemned the telco ads that ran on our own blogs?

STACLU pogrom is a resounding success

Nedd Kareiva
Scrabble Champion
Director, Stop the ACLU Coalition

Dear Mr. Kareiva,

Please allow me to be the first to thank you and the staff of Stop The ACLU for all you did to make the Indian River Pogrom such a resounding success. It isn't easy to run a Jewish family out of town in these politically correct times. Usually, they just hunker down, hiding behind antiquated interpretations of the Constitution and the good will of those who wrongly believe that non-Christians are entitled to all of the benefits of citizenship.

But this time, the family fled, and I think you deserve partial credit for making that happen. After all, you did publish their name, address, and phone number on your web site (see screen cap below) as part of your "Expose ACLU Plaintiffs" project. It certainly wouldn't be much of a stretch to say that such information gave people the tools they needed to drive the Dobrich family from their home.

Of course, you didn't do it all by yourself. The good god-fearing Christians of the Indian River School District deserve most of the credit. They took to the task of ethnic cleansing with a vengeance , not sparing anyone discomfort, not even the Dobrich children:

A large Delaware school district promoted Christianity so aggressively that a Jewish family felt it necessary to move to Wilmington, two hours away, because they feared retaliation for filing a lawsuit.

[...]

On the evening in August 2004 when the board was to announce its new policy, hundreds of people turned out for the meeting. The Dobrich family and Jane Doe felt intimidated and asked a state trooper to escort them.

The complaint recounts a raucous crowd that applauded the board's opening prayer and then, when sixth-grader Alexander Dobrich stood up to read a statement, yelled at him "take your yarmulke off!" His statement, read by Samantha, confided "I feel bad when kids in my class call me Jew boy."

...A former board member suggested that Mona Dobrich might "disappear" like Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the atheist whose Supreme Court case resulted in ending organized school prayer. She disappeared in 1995 and her dismembered body was found six years later.

The crowd booed an ACLU speaker and told her to "go back up north."

In the days after the meeting the community poured venom on the Dobriches. Callers to the local radio station said the family they should convert or leave the area. Someone called them and said the Ku Klux Klan was nearby.

Congratulations again for the success of your pogrom. I'm sure it's only the first of many more to come as we retake our great nation in Jesus' name.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


[Address and phone number blurred by my inner Frenchman]

Update: Nedd Replies

Pogrom? I'm not sure I want to call it that. That is not an appropriate term, however, I am pleased that we had an effect in this case. We have others we want to put up on the site to shame them but have not gotten around to it. And I'm not so sure I can take credit for it. However, if an ACLU speaker was booed, that's music to my ears.

I would appreciate it if you would sign your actual name rather than JC Christian.

Regards,

Nedd Kareiva
Director

I Respond

Nedd Kareiva
Scrabble Champion
Director, Stop the ACLU Coalition

Dear Nedd,

Don't be so modest. The Dobrich family was driven from their home in much the same way my wife's family was driven from their shtetl 100 years ago. Sure, there wasn't the widespread rape and murder associated with old school pogroms, but we're all kind of new at this.

Accept it for what it is and rejoice. After all, you said you were pleased with the effect you had in this case. Who could ask for anything more than that?

As for my name, it's a good name, a righteous name, a god-fearing name, and I'm better known by it than any other.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Aberrations!

The Jivester's latest.

Regrets

I've given a lot of thought over the last few days to the practice of publishing people's personal information on blogs. It's a despicable practice, an act designed to scare those targeted into silence. It is never justifiable.

I did something very similar a few months ago. I published a map of the area in which Michelle Malkin's former residence was situated. Although I did not publisher her address or label the exact location of her house--instead, I added a "Malkinwald Internment Camp" a few blocks away at a football field--I left the red Yahoo pin, unlabeled, at the location of her home.

I justified it to myself, thinking that it was OK because the map was vague--it couldn't be used by itself to locate Malkin's residence. Others had listed her complete address, so I felt that I wasn't adding any critical information, and perhaps by adding the phony Malkinwald graphic, I was actually adding a little confusion to the issue. Still, I left that red pin on the map until I had second thoughts a few days later.

I did it to retaliate for Malkin's publication of the personal info of two college students who had organized an anti-war demonstration. I was wrong to do that. Her actions spoke for themselves. They exposed her for what she is.

I now wish I had listened to Auguste at Malkin(s) Watch and the others who urged me to delete the post. They were right. I was wrong.

I want to thank reader Elendil for making me think long and hard about this. And I want to apologize to her for reacting defensively at first. She was right to call me on it.

Note: Malkin no longer lives in the area depicted on the map.

Fractals

Monsieur Gilliard thinks the headline and photo caption in the following clipping from the Army News Service is somehow in conflict with the Find Law article below it. He simply doesn't understand that ignorance is strength, freedom is slavery, mission accomplished is endless warfare, and safety is rape and murder.

He also fails to comprehend that he's looking at a fractal. Pvt. Green was merely acting out Our Leader's War on Terror on a much smaller scale. The act is exactly the same whether it occurs on the micro or the macro level. Only the scale is different.




Chris Floyd has more.

Sponsor a missile

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A big helmet tip to Dan of Evolution for the Hell of It and Cynically Tested, the official videographers of the GC³R.

Ann Coulter, Feminist Pig

You might remember me as the Hannicatch of the Week from a couple months ago. I have decided to use my popularity to attempt to find a man to liberate me from the workplace and allow me to make babies for God. I also hope to further the illustrious General’s great cause of righteousness (its too bad he’s married…). I wrote the following letter to Ann Coulter, who is viewed by many as a great hero of our movement.

Dear Miss Coulter,
Recently I did something very bad. Since my daddy wasn’t home, I went out of the house unaccompanied to the bookstore. There I saw your book and read the back cover. Just there I knew that was enough for me to know that you aren’t on the side of Our Lord and Leader. At first I wondered how you found the time to write such a long book with so many words and letters while still taking care of your husband and children. Then I realized that it must have taken away an unspeakable amount of time from your family and God given duties to delve into the work of men.

I decided to do a little research (of course with CleanInter.net) to find out how you were able to do this, whether through demonic inspiration or something else. What I found is that you are not a Christian following the true way of God but a God-hating, socialist FEMINIST. You are a 44 year old woman and yet you have not yet married in God’s tradition or provided God with any babies to further the cause of righteousness. When you should be spending all of your time looking for a husband before your useful childbearing years are over, you instead go into the profession of writing, which is clearly intended for men. In fact, I even found rumors that you dated the cloven-hoofed pundit and well-known atheist, liberal, and God-hater Bill Maher. The only possible conclusion from this is that you are a socialist-inspired feminist, working hard to destroy the institutions that make America great.

As the great Prophet Pat Robertson has said, feminism “is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” As all good Christians do, I interpret the words of the prophets literally, and that means that you are socialist and anti-family. Maybe the real reason that you are single and childless is that you left your husband and killed your children.

You are hurting the movement more than you are helping it with your great hypocrisy. Only true Christians and true Conservatives should speak the message of Our Leader and Our Lord, and you are not one of them. I am surprised that the Lord has not struck you down yet.

Virginally yours,
Candice Sutherland

P.S. While it might appear that by writing and researching for this blog post, I am working against God’s intended role for women, that is not true. The true purpose of this post is that I hope to attract a husband from the General’s army so that I might bear children. I’m sure that one of them would be noble enough to free me from the shackles of singleness and liberate me to follow God’s path.

Happy Fourth

My inner Frenchman commits treason:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

[...]

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

[...]

The history of the present King ... [George] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

[...]

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice

[...]

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

[...]

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts... and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

[...]

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

And Ani does the same:

here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation
under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore

here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
who daily provide women with a choice
who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city
just to listen to a young woman's voice

here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
awaiting the executioner's guillotine
who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
to find peace in the form of a dream

cuz take away our playstations
and we are a third world nation
under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
who stole the oval office and that phony election
i mean
it don't take a weatherman
to look around and see the weather
jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks
and boy did he ever

and we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 george w. bush is not president
#2 america is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me
cuz i am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
i've got no room for a lie so verbose
i'm looking out over my whole human family
and i'm raising my glass in a toast

here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
let us vow to get off of this sauce
shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
and find that train ticket we lost
cuz once upon a time the line followed the river
and peeked into all the backyards
and the laundry was waving
the graffiti was teasing us
from brick walls and bridges
we were rolling over ridges
through valleys
under stars
i dream of touring like duke ellington
in my own railroad car
i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
in a grand station aglow with grace
and then standing out on the platform
and feeling the air on my face

give back the night its distant whistle
give the darkness back its soul
give the big oil companies the finger finally
and relearn how to rock-n-roll
yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there
so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets
and clear the air
get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
of someone else's desert
put it back in its pants
and quit the hypocritical chants of
freedom forever

That's the middle of her poem. Read the rest here. Or better yet, listen to it. If you like it, buy it. Ani deserves our support.




Note on the blogging life: I wrote this post on Saturday, thinking I could take it easy on the Fourth. To my chagrin, I fired up the computer this morning and saw Laffayete's Ani Difranco post--he has a song from her soon-to-be-released CD (I think it might be her best yet, and Dilate is a damned hard album to beat). Then, during lunch, I hear Tom Hartman, who's filling in for Randi Rhodes, doing a variation on the Declaration of Independence thing.

Like I said, I wrote (or perhaps, more accurately, quoted and arranged, all this stuff) this on Saturday. I'm not pulling a Coulter, honest.

How Joe can leverage his $359

Sen. Joe Lieberman
United States Senate

Dear Sen. Lieberman,

I've been thinking about what you should do with the $359 you raised from the netroots. It isn't much--especially when compared to the $246,641.59 Ned Lamont raised from the same source--so you'll have to leverage it as much as you can. I have an idea about how to do it.

You're not getting the help you deserve from Rush Limbaugh. He only mentions you when you attack your fellow Democrats. That was enough when you were slamming you're party on a daily basis, but now that you have a Democratic challenger, you've had to cut back your attacks to a measly once or twice a week to avoid losing your base completely.

Fortunately, there is another way to get more play on Rush's show. You see, Rush has a problem getting laid. That's why he spends thousands of dollars traveling to foreign capitals of prostitution. Surely, he'd do anything you want if you could get him a little for free.

Now $359 isn't going to get you much. After paying for a room and taxi fare, I doubt there'd be enough left over for a hand job. You'll need to cut some corners. I suggest that you spend it all on a wig, a dress, a few boner pills and some fake breasts and do the job yourself. The beauty of this plan is that everything but the Viagra is reusable. You can use it all again to entertain the entire Fox News staff. You know John Gibson, Brit Hume, and Bill O'Reilly aren't getting any either.

Well, I hope you'll consider taking this advice. It might sound a little "out there" at first, but if you think about it, you've been servicing Our Leader in much the same way for almost six years now.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

ps Don't worry about it being a homosexual act. I'm pretty certain it's not as long as you pretend to be a woman. That's what Brother Veronica tells me.

Coming clean about Malkinwald

Earlier this year, I posted a map to Malkinwald . It's now come to my attention that a number of patriots and Frenchmen are about to expose me for falsifying the location of that facility. It's true, should anyone actually find the tangle of streets depicted on the map and proceed to the spot marked "Malkinwald," they'll find a football field.

I do not regret moving the location of Malkinwald. Our Lady of the Concentration Camps was in great danger at the time. During that same week, a US Congressman had accused her of treason during wartime, a crime punishable by death; a famous talk show host and cable news pundit who also serves as the head of a powerful 527 group, called for her to be locked in a cage and beaten to death; and publications ranging from the Wall Street Journal to the National Review demanded that Our Leader bring the full force of His terrible wrath against her. All of these things combined to create an atmosphere in which Malkin's life was in danger.

Wait...I'm sorry. I was confused. Our Lady of the Concentration Camps was in no danger at all. The things I mentioned in the previous paragraph happened last week and the target wasn't Mrs. Malkin, it was the New York Times. That's why Rocco DiPippo published the complete addresses of the Times' publisher and one of its photographers. It's also why Dennis K wrote:

Go hunt* them down and do America a favor. Get their photo, street address, where their kids go to school, anything you can dig up, and send it to the link above. This is your chance to be famous - grab for the golden ring.

Maybe I didn't need to move the location of Malkinwald, after all.

Seriously: The original map also had one of Google's red pins stuck into it. Although it was not labeled, the pin did mark the actual location of Malkinwald. I photoshopped the pin out a few days after posting it. Although I regret that I did not remove the pin earlier, I do not believe the limited information provided on the map, especially when combined with the fake siting of Malkinwald, could be used to find Malkinwald's true location.

*After being informed that Frenchman had forwarded his comments to the FBI. Professor Dennis changed the word "hunt" to "track."

Update: After being told that his dean might be interested in his site, Professor Dennis changed the wording completely, but The Agonist saved the page in its original form.

Acting responsibly

For the last week or so, Our Leader's most loyal senators, congressmen, political operatives, pundits, columnists, editorial boards, bloggers and other heroes of the GC³R have been attacking the New York Times, charging those employed there with the greatest crime a citizen can commit against his country: treason during time of war, a crime punishable by death. Some have gone so far as to advocate the killing of the Times' publisher and editors (see yesterday's post).

Initially launched for little more than their value as political theater, these vituperative attacks have now taken on a life of their own, fueling a murderous rage, the likes of which hasn't been seen in this country since the ethnic cleansing of Tulsa in 1921.

How does a responsible patriot like Rocco DiPippo respond? He publishes the home address of a NY Times photographer after implying that she betrayed the Ed Wood of Warfare's vacation address to terrorists by shooting this photo:

Rocco is catching pure hell from the French in his comments section right now. I urge my readers to join me in his defense.

Update: Rocco has a new post up. This time he posted driving directions to the Times' publisher's house. It looks like he'll need us to defend him in this comment thread too.

Update II: It looks like Rocco banned me and deleted the posts in which I asked him if he wanted us to murder the photographer. I guess he didn't need my help. I am, however, still helping Professor Dennis defend his right to call for the hunting down of journalists' children (see Republican Jesus below). You can help too by submitting your comments.

Here's a screencap of Rocco's first post:


(Address blurred by my inner Frenchman)

Greenwald has more.

Acts of the Apostles II

The holy crusade against the staff of the New York Times and their children.



*Actual quote.

Update: After being informed that Frenchman had forwarded his comments to the FBI. Professor Dennis changed the word "hunt" to "track."

Update II: After being told that his dean might be interested in his site, Professor Dennis changed the wording completely, but The Agonist saved the page in its original form.

I'm defending his right to call for a jihad against the children of journalists in his comments section. I hope you'll join me.

Republican Jesus mugs and shirts available here

Republican Jesus Archives.