Palin calls attacks 'cruel' and 'cowardly'

From CNN.



May her dreams reveal to her what the words cruel and cowardly really mean. Just because she was on the losing side of our most recent national election doesn't mean she knows what real loss is. Perhaps one day she will learn empathy and compassion, and act accordingly. I shall begin holding my breath...now.

The Hunter becomes the hunted. Happens all the time.

++++

Voted Yes on Prop 8

And doin' the praise two-step to celebrate.

]

Confronting the Damned Separationists

On Friday, I'm going to represent the Red Guard of the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution at this weekend's Americans United for the Separation of Church and State conference. I'll do some live blogging while there. The flight and one night in the hotel is comped, but I need to come up with a few buck for food, taxi, gas, parking and the second night in the hotel. If any of you could spare a few bucks to help out, I'd appreciate it. Just click the donation buttons above.

Who's going to watch my little towel shows, now?

Gov. Palin agreed to do one last post for Jesus' General before taking a little time off.
Thank you, Governor!

OK, it's over. We did our best; we fired you up and pressed all your buttons; but you failed to stop The Unholy One. That means I have to go back to freaking Alaska. 

No Saks! No Barney's! No Neiman Marcus! Just the freaking Wall-Mart in Walisa.

Cheese-N-Rice! Freakin' Wall-Mart!

So what am I going to do, now? A lot of you are asking me that.

Well, first I need to tie up a few loose ends--like the clothing thing. During the campaign, I said I'd give it all back, all $150,000 $200,000 dollars worth of it. And I'll do that, except for the stuff I lost and the clothing the RNC bought Todd, Bristol, Piper, Willow, Trig, and Levi--I never made any promises about that. I have to get something out of this.

Then, I'm going to have to find another way to get more money for clothes. I'm thinking about renting Trig out as a prop for candidates, pro-life activists, and subdivision developers. You've all seen how good he is at it. It's the special talent God gave him.

Todd and I are also going to need to find new ways of spicing up our "happy minute." We won't have campaign advisers around anymore, so who am I going to tease with my little towel shows while Todd gets busy in his Brooks Brothers slacks?

Hey, maybe we can get Joe the Plumber to move in with us. I bet he'd do it if I appointed him the Director of Fisheries. I wonder if he'd mind dressing up like a milkman on Tuesdays. Oh...or a puritan witch pricker! Mmmmmmmm. I like that!

So that's about it, for now.

Update: Country..continent...who cares? It's full of witches anyway!

Some kind of cat show

My inner Frenchman's friend, Kathi Rick, is involved in some kind of cat show this weekend. So, if you're in the Portland area (or even if you aren't), stop by the North Bank Artists Gallery and take a look.

Wait. This doesn't sound like a cat show. It sounds like femislamunistofascism!

Dancing in the streets

As grandma use to say, "it's a wicked, wicked world." We elect a president and people start contorting their bodies to music like a bunch of damned Canadians. We wouldn't be acting that way if we'd had won. We'd act more dignified. We'd be parading socialist-roaders down the street in dunce caps while we poked them with sticks.

A helmet tip to that Blue Gal, who I assume is one of those Fugates from up around Troublesome Creek.

Good Morning

From On the Pulse of the Morning by Maya Angelou:

Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.

History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, and if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.

Lift up your eyes upon
The day breaking for you.

Give birth again
To the dream.

Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands.

Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.

Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.

The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space to place new steps of change.
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out upon me, the
Rock, the River, the Tree, your country.

No less to Midas than the mendicant.

No less to you now than the mastodon then.

Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes, into
Your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning.

Vote...

...or you'll get the America you deserve.



Helmet tips to Mr_Subjunctive, who shot the photo, and Pam, who drew my attention to it.

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Queen Esther v. The One, Mighty and Strong (or Barbie and Ken go all biblical on each other)

While many of us support Sarah Palin's efforts to sink McCain so she can come back as Queen Esther in 2012, many Mormon Republicans are working hard for McCain's defeat so that Mitt Romney may return and fulfill a prophecy received by Joseph Smith (link--about 4:50 into the video). The prophecy, known as the White Horse Prophecy, states that the Constitution will be hanging by a thread and an elder from Zion will ride in on a white horse to save it.

So if you think this election is wild, wait until Queen Esther takes on The One, Mighty and Strong.* I'm eager to see who wins this one. Whose God is stronger? Is it Palin's bachelor God who suffers from multiple personality disorder and likes to chat with peculiar Alaskan women? Or will Romney's philandering God--who knocked up Mary while His wife, Heather H. Yahweh, was busy quilting solar systems together at Relief Society--be the victor?

I'm thinking it might be a good idea to stay neutral--at least until after the convention.

*Because if Mitt's has to get on a horse, he might as well fulfill another prophecy by becoming The One, Mighty and Strong, as well.

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No candy for tiny socialists

I agree with this fine patriot. Trick or treaters should prove their ideological purity before getting a Tootsie Roll.



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Our Animal Enemies

Tomorrow's election day. Have you done everything you can to help John McCain, Sarah Palin, and the rest of the Republican ticket? Sure many of you have been out there educating voters about Obama's abundance of melanin. Some of you have even hung Obama effigies from your trees or shouted "nigger" or "kill him" at a rally. But is that really enough? Are you covering all the bases? Have you done anything to hamper the effectiveness of Obama's animal allies?

Last night, patriots slaughtered a goat and left its severed head at a Charlie Brown for Congress campaign office. How many severed goat heads have you delivered.

A few weeks ago, another patriot killed a bear cub and wrapped it in Obama signs as a warning to Obama voters. How many baby bear cubs have you killed for McCain-Palin '08?

Killing animals and the using their bodies or heads to threaten Democrats and other lesser Americans has always been an important part of or GOTV efforts--it's a Republican tradition. McCain's minority outreach advisor, George Allen was stuffing deer heads into black families' mailboxes while Obama was worrying about the prom, and God knows what kind of unnatural acts Strom Thurmond performed on road kill.

So what are you waiting for? Go out and shoot a wolf from a plane or commit an act of of extreme cruelty on a bunny before it is too late.

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Debating a Patriot

Last night, my Inner Frenchman debated a true American patriot, Ron Skytower, at Second Life Republican Auditorium. My Inner Frenchman stepped-in at the last moment when another libislamunistofascist canceled, so he had no time to prepare. Unfortunately, that did not seem to work to Skytower's advantage. My Inner Frenchman was unfazed by Skytower's Palinesque approach and raised a few points that made many of our heads hurt. I blame Skytower for this because he did not take it all the way and give us a wink.

Anyway, you can download and listen to the whole debate here. (May I point out that the SL Republicans are as competent at recording and processing audio as they are at carrying-out foreign and economic policy.)

Update: Whoops, I had the wrong file up. I've corrected that. Sorry.

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Quebecistan Terrorists Attack Our Dear Bible Spice

French Canadian terrorists, pretending to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy, prank called Our Lady of the Witch-Hunt, yesterday. Although she did not know the name of the Canadian Prime Minister, I think she recovered well when she agreed to go hunting in a helicopter with "Sarkozy" so they could bond by "killing animals." She also did well by accepting praise from the prankster for a Fox documentary about her life. I haven't seen it, yet, but it's called Nalin' Palin.

Hear it here.

Here's what The Canadian Press said about it.

In an over-the-top accent, one half of a notorious Quebec comedy duo claims to be the president of France as he describes sex with his famous wife, the joy of killing animals and Hustler magazine's latest Sarah Palin porno spoof.

At the other end of the line? An oblivious Sarah Palin.

The Masked Avengers, a radio pairing notorious for prank calls to celebrities and heads of state, notched its latest victory Saturday when it released a recording of a six-minute call with Palin, who thought she was talking with Nicolas Sarkozy.
[...]

"We have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you," Palin gushes, evidently unaware she's speaking to an infamous Quebec comedian named Marc-Antoine Audette.

[...]

Over the course of the interview, Palin doesn't seem to realize she's being tricked until Audette comes clean near the end of the call.

"Ohhhh . . . have we been pranked?" she says, in her inimitable style. Seconds later, Palin's aide can be heard taking the phone before the line goes dead.

Throughout the conversation, Audette drops plenty of clues that something's amiss.
He identifies French singer and actor Johnny Hallyday as his special adviser to the U.S., singer Stef Carse as Canada's prime minister and Quebec comedian and radio host Richard Z. Sirois as the provincial premier.

"We should go hunting together," Palin offers when Audette professes a love of hunting - or, more precisely, killing animals. "We can have a lot of fun together while we're getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone."

[...]

Audette goes on to describe Bruni [President Sarkozy's wife] as "hot in bed" and claims she's written a song for Palin, the French title of which translates as "Lipstick on a Pig." In English, Audette says the song is about Joe the Plumber.

Finally, he mentions a notorious Hustler video titled "Nailin' Paylin," describing it as "the documentary they made on your life."
"Oh, good, thank you, yes," Palin replies.
"That was really edgy," Audette says.
"Well, good."

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