David O. Stewart's The Summer of 1787: The Men Who Invented the Constitution (Simon and Schuster $27.00 and available in paperback in May '09) is one of the riveting popular histories that always seem to catch my eye. With a fine narrative style and flow, Stewart sets out to explain what happened during that summer.

Briefly, I'm sure most of you remember the story well enough. Delegates from all the original thirteen colonies/states, save Rhode Island, met in Philadelphia during what seemed to be particularly sweltering weather, and hammered out the document that has essentially been the document that has governed our land since its adoption and the swearing in of George Washington as the nation's first President. There were debates over the different proffered plans, compromises and, ultimately, a document.

Stewart's particular genius is in relating that story week by week, meshing the personalities of the convention with the issues, large and small, that dominated the debate. The personalities included such figures as the taciturn George Washington, the intellectual James Madison (who despite his reputation was not the father of the Constitution, which he himself admitted), Edmund Morris, Alexander Hamilton and the near grand-fatherly Benjamin Franklin.

The issues were mostly large. The question of what the legislature should look like loomed heavily and broke the delegates into factions of Large state/Small state, which meant population, not geographic size. Should the body be unicameral, or bicameral, and how should those representatives be chosen? If it were representative by population and not by state, how many should each state receive? These questions threatened to tear the delegates apart, and in fact, some did leave the Convention. What should be the nature of the executive? Having fought a Revolution to throw off an onerous King and Parliament, how much power should the chief executive have? And what about the West? The delegates knew that the future of the Republic resided in the growth of the United States. How should new states be admitted? There was even talk that the 13 original states should always retain the majority in whatever Congress was finally adopted.

And ever important was the question of slavery. There was already an incipient Emancipation movement, of which the Southern states were already wary. The 3/5 settlement remained a large portion of the calculus of that summer.

Interestingly, most of our knowledge comes from Madison's own notes from the Convention. It was a closed door proceeding and leaks were few and far between. Also, the delegates knew that whatever they came up with, the document would not be perfect and would have to have a mechanism for change and renewal. Even this week Senator Feingold has introduced an new amendment for the provision of special elections for Senate vacancies.

Stewart weaves the story with the skill of a novelist and with the sure hand of someone who knows the subject well. Our Constitution has been tried and stressed. The past eight years have been, in my humble opinion, the hardest times the document has seen. My biggest hope is that in the next few years, it will be restored.

The Summer of 1787 is available at Jackson Street Books and at your favorite independent bookstore.

“T.V. makes the news really come home”

My hometown paper informs me that Kaye got fourteen contacts during square dancing:

PROMONTORY POINTERS
Winnie Richman
Leader Correspondent
Orson Poulsen reports having to begin tearing down his barn, which the high winds recently blew over. He says the antique buggy he was storing in there sustained some damage, but the wheels and frame are ok.
Tyrell Udy went to the cutter races Saturday with his father, Boyd. The teams again did well. Tyrell then went over to a Clinton Anderson Down Under Horsemanship Training clinic. Boyd joined him there on Sunday.
Kaye Draper went square dancing on Monday evening after her job at her church. She is celebrating 14 new contacts. “Sometimes I only get one or two contacts,” she says. Kaye has also been doing lots of bingo-ing. On Thursday she was surprised by her niece, Justine and Justine’s daughter, Daisy. They took her to lunch at the nearby Chuck-ARama. Kaye has started a new baby afghan for her service project. On Saturday while visiting Brighton Gardens, Kaye ran into a lady from Tremonton who recognized her as the former correspondent from Tremonton who wrote the Promontory Pointer.
Pam Wilson has noticed several other Bald Eagles on the Promontory road. She has also noticed more deer and pheasants than ever.
Clynn and Winnie Richman watched President Bush’s final press conference on Monday and Larry King Live on Tuesday night with President and Mrs. Bush. “T.V. makes the news really come home,” Clynn says.
On Friday Winnie went to Bundersen Elementary School in Brigham City to watch granddaughter Marriah Richman in the spelling bee. She won the fourth grade and placed fourth overall out of 25 contestants. Granny was so proud! Marriah was supported by her parents, grandmother and siblings.
Clynn and Winnie’s youngest son, Lyle and his children came to the Double S Bar to help Winnie and to eat dinner Friday night. “Thank you, Lyle,” Winnie says gratefully.
On Saturday Aaron Richman and friend Shaun came to the ranch to help Winnie clean the pig pen. The pigs ran wild but were very easy to get back in. “Thank you, Aaron and Shaun,” Winnie says.
Winnie sang with the ward choir during sacrament meeting, then hurried home for dinner and a rest before chores.

Child Witches Wage War on Sister Sarah

Dr. Kevin "Coach" Collins
MENSA Member

Dear Dr. Collins,

There is nothing more exciting than watching a great detective unravel a deep dark mystery. That's how I felt as I read about your investigation of the Palin church arson.

No doubt your conclusion is correct. It must have been a murder attempt carried our by hired assassins from out of state. Your logic is impeccable. As you note, the phone and alarm lines were reportedly cut--surely, no one from Wasila has the mental acuity needed to operate a tool as complex as a wire cutter.

But who are these assassins? Are they Obama-voting infidels from Seattle, Denver, Charlotte or some other piece of faux America? Or are they part of a more sinister group--perhaps one with international origins.

I strongly suspect it's the latter. More specifically, I blame Nigerian child witches. They certainly have a motive. Gov. Palin's close relationship with Nigerian witch fighter Thomas Muthee surely scares them. They are already suffering greatly from the "poison destroyers," imprisonment, and beatings to which Pastor Muthee and his fellow witch fighters are subjecting them. Add the full power of American military might Palin could muster after God makes her President, and, hey, these wicked child witches could be rendered powerless in a matter of weeks.

I hope you'll pursue that lead, but if you do, please do so carefully. 

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Two Candidates for Sister Sarah

Gov. Sarah Palin
SarahPAC

Dear Gov. Palin,

Thank you for creating SarahPAC. I'm very excited by your recent efforts to recruit "real" Americans to run for office. Thanks to such pioneers as you and Joe the Plumber, ignorance has moved beyond being simply bliss and is now the new cool. I'm glad you're capitalizing on it.

On your site, you describe your mission as being:

Dedicated to building America's future, supporting fresh ideas and candidates who share our vision for reform and innovation.

I have a couple of perfect candidates for you. They certainly share your vision and values. I hope you'll give them your support.

The first is Lynne Spears. As the mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn, she serves as a role model for those seeking a return to Palin family values. I also understand that she can see Venezuela from her home in Louisiana. And as a part-time resident of California, she'a a natural choice to take Dianne Feinstein's seat.

The second potential candidate is a guy called Bob the Cattle Inseminator. OK, his real name is Kevin and he's unemployed, but, hey, "Joe the Plumber" worked so well for "Sam the plumbing supply clerk" why mess with success? "Bob" is a name that's as American as xenophobia and "cattle inseminator" is as rural (the one true America) an occupation as you'll find anywhere. With that kind of packaging, he's a sure-fire winner.

Federline (did I mention he has a Spears family connection) will need some prepping to become Bob the Cattle Inseminator, but it shouldn't take much. He's already an accomplished inseminator. We just need to turn his attention to cattle.

Heterosexually yours, in a chaste, biblical and not-even-saddleback kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

It was just a little male-bonding

Pastor Brady Boyd
New Life Church

Dear Pastor Boyd,

It looks like you're in a bit of a spot. People are now learning that at the very moment your church leaders were declaring that Pastor Ted Haggard's act of supposed sin was an isolated incident involving a single manwhore, they were buying the silence of another of his conquests.

I believe you're getting what you deserve. You took the easy way out, preferring to condemn one relationship and hide others simply because the truth, the innocent truth, was too hard too explain. Now, you're paying for it (or not).

Pastor Haggard had it right all along. Over and over again, he's stated that he's just another heterosexual who likes to put other men's little soldiers in his mouth. You know...like Larry Craig. There's nothing wrong with that as long as it's not sexual. Heck, it's probably one of the best ways men can bond with each other. Sure as hell beats punching each other in the shoulder.

You know what I mean. You're out shopping for a new rifle or mustache groomer or something and you see a guy, and you think, "What a nice, muscular, manly looking guy; I think I'll honor his masculinity by asking him to put his little soldier in my mouth so that I might partake of his essence."

So you do it. It doesn't mean you're The Gay--you're not thinking about marrying the guy or anything. You're just nourishing yourself on another's manliness.

That's how you should have explained it to begin with. If you had, you wouldn't be in the fix now.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Update: Ted Haggard's commitment to the heterosexual lifestyle is so well known, they're even writing songs about it.

Tithes

History is written by the one with the best communications team

Kyle Queal, Head of School
Brice Helton, Athletic Director
The Covenant School of Dallas

Dear Mr. Queal and Coach Helton,

I'm very disappointed with your decision to apologize for your girls basketball victory last week. What happened to all that Christian school spirit you showed as you cheered your team to a 100-0 victory over the team from the school for kids with learning disabilities? You didn't question your coaches decisions then. You didn't ask him to pull the starters when it was a mere 58-0 or 88-0 game. No, you cheered right until the end and thanked the Lord for giving you such a clear victory.

It wasn't until the mediaslamistofascists condemned you and the defeatocrats started sending you emails that you changed your tune. Then, all of a sudden, you were apologetic about your victory.

Rush Limbaugh wouldn't have apologized. Sarah Palin wouldn't have apologized. And Lord knows, your own senators, John Cornyn and Kay Bailey-Hutchison, wouldn't have apologized. They'd have framed it as a great victory over the forces of dyslexia and painted the opposing school as a grave and vital threat to everything we hold dear. Just like they and their predecessors did when we defeated the Cuban construction worker menace in Grenada and the seemingly unstoppable superpowers of Panama and Iraq.

And they'd have found a way to associate the Dallas Academy with the most evil and vile threat of all, condoms. Just like the Apostle Paul did in his epistle about the Trojans.

So now you've learned your lesson. Victory doesn't come from simply crushing a weak opponent on the field of battle. You need to build them up first with a good PR campaign. You need to turn them into the worst thing since Satan. Only then, will your win become a victory.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

American Healthcare

Susie at Suburban Gorilla has health and insurance problems. Please give if you can.

I love the smell of hagfish slime under a Haitian sun

Kathie Olsen
Senior Advisor, National Science Foundation
Office of Information and Resource Management

Dear Mrs. Olsen,

I'm both saddened and joyful over reports that you've stepped down as the Assistant Director of the National Science Foundation. I'm saddened because the work you did thwarting science and silencing heresy at NSF was exemplary, but I'm joyful over news that you successfully burrowed into a civil service position, there, and will be able to continue your work in some fashion.

Unfortunately, I'm certain the Obama administration will make it difficult for you. They will do whatever they can to replace faith-driven research and profit-driven outcomes with a more empirical approach to acquiring knowledge. Lord knows that's bad news for global warming deniers like ourselves.

So where does that leave you? Will you now be forced to approve only those grants that deal in real science? Certainly, you'll no longer be allowed to do the good and righteous work of supplementing the oil industry's public relations efforts with taxpayer money.

Have you considered doing the research yourself? I understand that hagfish mucous is very sensitive to temperature variations. Perhaps you could use it to disprove all those global warming theories. You'd want to do it in a tropical climate, I think, so you get the most direct sunlight. I hear Haiti's nice. It's a free-market paradise.

You can't expect to be funded by one of your agency's grants, so you'd have to sell it as a cost-cutting measure. Tell them you'll replace your computer and office supplies with a box pencils, a bundle of notepads, and a pair of swim flippers--that's all Jesus needed anyway, and look where it got him! Heck, you won't even need an office. You can write on the beach. Of course you'll also save money by collecting the hagfish yourself (hence the flippers) and by using low-wage Haitians to monitor mucous degradation.

Think about it as one big adventure. Every morning you get up, jump into the ocean, collect hagfish mucous, crawl back onto the beach, rub the slime all over your body, sunbathe for a few hours, and then let a couple of dozen Haitians sniff you before sitting back down to write all about it.

That sounds like working in paradise to me. I hope it doesn't seem a little too sciency for you.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and non-sciency kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

The Revolution Will Be Streamed

Netroots Nation in Second life is doing the kind of fundraiser we can all get behind. Not only will your donation give you the satisfaction of supporting a great progressive organization, you'll also get a liberal load of fantastic music in return.

Our own Rev. Paperboy of Fez records put the album together, and I'm very excited about the artists he recruited to perform. It's an eclectic list of some of the most frequent visitors to my own personal iPod "Favorites" play list. From the folk genius of Scott and Michelle Daiziel, the must-dance-now latin jazz imperative of Los Gatos, the rockin' pulse of Spoon Spatular's guitar, Zathras Afarensis's plush and expansive vocals, to The Black Tie Martini Club's and Billy-Bob Neck's knock-out-your-teeth-funny satirical comedy, this album has a little, and a whole hell of a lot, of everything.

But don't just take my word for it. Hear it yourself for the next 24 or so hours on my internet radio station, Radio Wellstone.

Then, go out and buy it at Amazon.

Rev. Paperboy has more on the artists.

Liner notes and playlist for The Revolution Will Be Steamed:

As the famous anarchist "Red" Emma Goldman may or may not have said: "If I can't dance, I don't want to be in your revolution"

There are few things more popular in Second Life than music and dancing. After all, in a virtual universe, we are all young and fit and we can all dance like the genetically cross-bred children of Martha Graham, Fred Astaire, Alvin Ailey, Bill 'Bojangles' Robinson and Gypsy Rose Lee. But while we dance, we talk, and as often as not, we talk politics.

And you can't dance without music, whether it's the hot salsa of Los Gatos, the sunny folk-funk of Richard Maynard-Langedijk, the brooding, country-flavored power-pop of Calliope's Radio or even the off-beat satirical stylings of Billy Bob Neck -- it's all here.

The proceeds from this album will go to aid Netroots Nation in Second Life in its efforts to support progressive politics through online activism, networking, advocacy and work on behalf of progressives running for elected office. We are grateful to the artists for the donation of the their inspiration, creativity and hard work. And to you, the listener for contributing to this worthy cause.

Special thanks to all the artists who contributed, Gen. J.C. Christian, Jillan McMillan, Jane2 McMahon, Rocky Torok, Michele Migrish, Jackson Street Books, and all the regulars at Cafe Wellstone, the Lonely Yak and the Red Zeppelin.

Check out the website.

The Revolution Will Be Streamed

1. So Glad - Richard Maynard-Langedijk
2. My Strange Love - Brian Lillie and the Squirrel Mountain Orchestra
3. Super Evil - Spoon Spatula
4. Arianara - Los Gatos
5. Hank Paulson's Blues - The Black Tie Martini Club
6. Gimme a Job - the Extras
7. Jesus: The Anti-Rap - Billy Bob Neck
8. Endless Night - Richard Ainslie
9. Zumbro Valley - Zathras Afarensis
10. One More (Land of Beginning Again) - Katherine King Segal & Charlie Brown
11. Watcha Gonna Do? - Golgotha
12. Rachel's Song - Scott & Michelle Daiziel
13. Samba Do Sueno - Pete Siers & Los Gatos
14. Darker, Longer - Calliope's Radio

My Inner Frenchman Does the Copper Robot

I appeared on an interview podcast today. A patriot screamed at me, but a copper robot intervened before I was shipped to Gitmo. You can here it here.

Re-Igniting the Militia Movement

_{Image © Austin Cline
Click for full-sized Image}

There are many signs that suggest a resurgence of America's militia movement is underway. These self-styled patriots mask a racist, nativist, authoritarian movement under the guise of liberty, republicanism, and small-government conservatism. They proved useful to "mainstream" conservatives in the past because they could be relied upon to vote their fears and hatred, which meant voting consistently against Democrats and even moderate Republicans.

How likely is it that we'll see something similar in the coming years: conservative Republicans rebuilding their electoral base and political power through extremists whose passionate hatred of everything liberal — and of Barack Obama in particular — makes them excellent foot soldiers in the culture wars? The obvious problem here is the fact that when such people sign on as "foot soldiers," they frequently treat that label as a literal description of their job, not a metaphorical description of their place in the political food chain.

The earliest signs of this were probably the countrywide increase in gun sales. Many people feared that Barack Obama would start imposing strict gun regulations even though he has never expressed much interest in doing so. Apparently, it takes nothing more than being a liberal Democrat to set off fear in some, which should tell us something about the mindset of the people in question. It's not a coincidence that the heyday of these extremists was when Bill Clinton was president, though he did actually support a couple of gun-control measures.

To be absolutely fair, I wouldn't be critical of people responding to a reasonable concern if one existed here. Not only would I be sympathetic in such a situation, but I would seriously consider taking similar action. However, the fear just isn't reasonable — it's reminiscent of the whining we hear about Obama reviving the Fairness Doctrine, even though few if any Democrats have actively promoted such a measure.

Given this sort of reaction to a baseless fear, we should be worried about how they will react in the future to other made-up fears. Frankly, I doubt that there is any made-up fear that would sound so extreme or so ridiculous that couldn't gain some traction with right-wing radio, right-wing blogs, and of course extremist groups. Given how wild some of the claims in those venues can be, there's no end to the conspiracy theories that extremists could get worked up over.

If all this isn't enough to get you a little worried, you need to be aware of the fact that the growth of militias and extremist groups isn't simply a matter of old members reviving old ties. Instead, the growth is being fueled primarily through the recruitment of younger people, new to organized right-wing extremism. In addition to being younger, they also appear to be more militant and more paranoid. We could end up looking back fondly on the early militia movement whose paranoia seemed reasonable.

The internet is to be playing a key role in all of this, and in more ways than one. First, the internet is an important tool for recruitment. No longer is the organization of militias dependent on personally knowing the right people, being in the right sort of area, or simply having access to the right direct mailing lists left over from the old Klan days. Extremist organizers can make contact with young people all over the country with little effort and less money. Of course, traditional recruiting methods haven't been abandoned, and even the Klan itself is experiencing new growth.

Second, the internet is well-known for creating echo chambers where extreme views are not just regularly repeated, but are in fact heightened as they bounce back and forth without anyone to fact-check or point out how unreasonable everyone is getting. This happens on both the left and the right, but it's scarier when it happens among armed extremists who believe that the "wrong sorts" of people need to be kicked out of the country or even killed outright. I'm sure similar behavior could be found when it was just a bunch of friends mouthing off to each other on a Friday night, but now it's occurring 24/7 among people across the nation.

Of course, perhaps I'm just engaging in my own form of fear mongering, right? It's possible, but the crucial difference here — I hope — is that I'm recommending caution, concern, and watchfulness. I'm not telling liberals to go out and buy guns to protect themselves from right-wingers with more guns. I'm not arguing that we should all be afraid of our neighbors because their politics are different from ours. The signs of future problems are strong enough to justify some concern and perhaps some thought about how to deal with them if they develop. Now is the time to start being watchful and start cataloging evidence.