Re: Your Brains

Re: Department of Book Reports: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Some forty plus years ago, John LeCarre began writing a series of novels in the spy genre. And no one else has done so any finer. He was inspired, in part, by the success of the highly popular James Bond books; as fun as those books about Fleming's hero might be, they had little, if anything to do, with true spycraft and intelligence gathering.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (Bantam Books) was originally published in 1974 and was the first of what LeCarre thought of as his "Karla Trilogy". A sacked, and officially retired, George Smiley has been secretly recalled to ferret out a "mole" in British Intelligence. By interviewing old colleagues, utilizing some detective work, and by setting clever traps, Smiley eventually finds the Moscow agent who has been long passing state secrets to the Soviets, whose Moscow Central is run by the elusive Karla (memorably played, by the way, in the BBC adaptation of this novel by Patrick Stewart).

But that is not enough of a description. LeCarre's early books always involved very human spies, who didn't dash around in Bentleys, and drink vodka martinis (shaken, not stirred); involved the dubious morality displayed by both sides of the Cold War; and the nostalgia for the disappearing British Empire. LeCarre is a master stylist, whose oblique storytelling rivals Joseph Conrad's. Tinker, Tailor... begins by following a young British public school student, Roach, who has made it his mission to figure out the new teacher, a mysterious Jim Prideaux, who has some sort of history to him that is fascinating. From there, we slowly learn Prideaux's story and how his fate will eventually expose the mole in the Secret Service.

More than that, Tinker, Tailor... works as a mystery novel. Years ago I was visiting my uncle and aunt who were then living in Aberdeen, Scotland. On my return to London, I sat on the train with a young woman, who I shamelessly flirted with. During the ride we talked about many things. It turned out we disagreed with each other about Pre-Rapaelite art; she loathed it and I liked it. We happily changed the subject, eventually, and got onto the BBC production of the novel, which was just then showing in its first run on the telly in England. I ventured that I had read the book, and she nearly shouted at me, "Oh, don't tell me who Mole is!". I refrained from spoiling the end. But we went our separate ways after arriving in Victoria Station. But you take my point. The whole of England was in high suspense.

(The BBC production is nearly perfect with wonderful performances, especially that of Alec Guiness' Smiley. I highly recommend hunting it down.)

In any event, I think Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is the finest spy novel ever written. Eminent book reviewer/librarian, Nancy Pearl says of it: I probably re-read John LeCarré's "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" once a year. As I said, it was the first of a trilogy which also includes The Honorable Schoolboy and Smiley's People (also well-adapted by the BBC).

John LeCarre is still enchanting his readers. His latest novel is A Most Wanted Man (Scribner $28.00) was published late last year. This novel and many of his others are available at Jackson Street Books and other fine independent bookstores.

democommie is operating this week under Moscow rules and we all know how tough those are.

The Opinuary Column

The Opinion Guns don't kill people, people kill people has departed this veil of tears and joined its Heavenly Father in eternal bliss. Preceeded in death by the Opinion That's okay, it's not loaded, it will be laid to rest this Sunday, April 12th in the Bloodiest Little Angel's section of The Straw Man Cemetery in Athens, Georgia.

The NRA is inviting all who attend the funeral to bring their guns to the service and "Keep a watchful eye on each other."

In lieu of bullets, the family has asked that donations be made to the non-profit Our Cold Dead Hands support group.

++++

Tinky Winky, Mr. Rogers, and evil

Tinky Winky, the ex-gay teletubby, here. It's been awhile since I last posted, but I felt I had to respond to Fox's charge that Mr. Rogers was evil.

I knew Mr. Rogers, or I think I did. You see, like everyone else in children's programming at PBS, I was required to attend his weekly staff meetings. But the thing was he never spoke at them, so I really can't gauge how evil he may have been.

King Friday the XIII always led the meetings from his perch on Mr. Rogers' hand. I can tell you this. Friday was evil, darkly evil. Everyone was frightened of him. Rumor was he had killed The Friendly Giant and ate his liver.

King Friday made us all do things, terrible things. For instance, he got Henrietta Pussycat hooked on smack and he'd withhold her fix until she'd curse God in front of us. I can still hear her cries today:
Meow meow junk please meow meow. Please please meow please. Meow, I'm jonesing meow bad meow meow. OK, meow, suck it, Jesus, meow meow. Fuck, meow, your immaculate, meow ass, meow meow. Meow smack, meow meow now, please!

His treatment of that poor, strung out pussycat was freaking horrible, but nothing like what did to the muppets from Sesame Street. He hated them, especially Bert and Ernie. He was constantly humiliating them by making Ernie watch while the Snuffalufagus violated Bert. It was a horrendous thing to see. Bert, crying, unable to offer assistance as the Snuffalufagus sodomized his beloved Ernie. The Snuffalufagus's maniacal laugh still haunts me today.

So that's all I can add. I think Fox was pretty close to getting it right. King Friday was evil incarnate, and he did live on Rogers' hand.

Satan wields a nasty tazer

Why would a police chief do this:

The former Oakwood police chief who was arrested early Monday morning in Palestine remained in the Leon County Jail Wednesday amid allegations he held his wife captive and used a taser on her.

Oly Yahnson Ivy, 30, was being held in the Leon County Jail in Centerville Wednesday in lieu of a $100,000 bond on the felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Ivy had been Oakwood’s police chief and one-man force for slightly more than two months prior to his arrest by Anderson County sheriff’s authorities shortly after 2 a.m. Monday.

My guess is that Oakwood has the same Satan problem Anchorage has:

He instructed police officers that if they were not ‘Christian’, not to approach a satanic crime scene, or ‘demons will jump on you.’ …He also made very blatant statements about law enforcement academies attempting to ‘brainwash’ its attendants into satanism. APD’s [Anchorage's] academy was singled out, and an officer ‘witnessed’ to the fact that he had been required to listen to a tape which so influenced him.

Billo and Sluggo gone from the Sun-Times

Roger Ebert documents an atrocity:

I understand you [Bill O'Reilly] believe one of the Sun-Times misdemeanors was dropping your syndicated column. My editor informs me that "very few" readers complained about the disappearance of your column, adding, "many more complained about Nancy." I know I did. That was the famous Ernie Bushmiller comic strip in which Sluggo explained that "wow" was "mom" spelled upside-down.

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will go on killing sprees

Nearly 60 people have been killed in mass shooting incidents in the last month:

• March 10 - Alabaman shoots mother, grandmother and eight others.
  
• March 22 - Shooter kills three cops and self.
• March 31 - Shooter kills six in Silicon Valley
  
• March 29 - North Carolinian shoots eight in nursing home.
  
• April 3 - Fourteen shot in Binghamton New York.
  
• April 4 - Glenn Beck fan murders three cops.
  
• April 4 - Security guard shoots his five children then commits suicide.
  
• April 7 - Floridian shoots wife, daughter, two others, and self.
  
• April 8 - Catholic volunteer wounds four, kills one.
  

That's a lot of killing. It's more than our combat losses for the same time period in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. It's no wonder people are starting to wonder what should be done about it. Thankfully, our leaders have the right answer. Make guns even more available.

Ending love segregation

My inner Frenchman demands that I post Iowa Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal's response to anti-love senator's request to co-sponsor love segregation bill.

Mr. Drudge just likes his eggs sunny side up

Matt Drudge
The Drudge Report

Dear Mr. Drudge,

Your little mini interview with New York Magazine has caused quite a stir. I hear people talking about it every where I go--well, ok, not exactly talking; it's more like laughing, hysterically, so hard gas escapes, loudly escapes in short bursts, which makes it even funnier. You know what I mean.

They're laughing because they can't believe you are still trying to deny you are the gay. But what they don't understand is that it's impossible for a conservative man like yourself to be the gay. We learned that from all the hullabaloo over Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, and Bob Allen.

I don't know how you can be more clear about it. You flat out said that you do not love sex with men." That's pretty clear, but maybe it would help everyone understand if you came out and told them what you do like, so they can see that it's different; that it's not the same as the gay sex.

You know, tell them how you like to have a guy slowly rub raw eggs all over your body; how his gooey wet caresses excites you and awaken the primal cultural warrior within you, Yes, and tell them of the exhilaration you feel as he drives his mighty staff of ideological truth deep inside your hallelujah cavern and tickles your organ of ultimate glory.

Yes, I think they'd understand it then, especially if you posted it under a flashing blue light.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Are we cowards or bullshit artists?

Glenn Reynolds
Instapundit

Dear Mr. Reynolds,

I understand why you would want to distance conservative rhetoric from violent acts like those committed by the cop-killing gun rights activist over the weekend--nobody wants to think that the spittle they fling in the pursuit of readers and ratings might actually harbor rabies. But I think you're making the wrong argument.

It's just not credible say that there is absolutely no connection. Anyone can turn on Glenn Beck and see him accuse the government of instituting fascism, or hear the troika that leads the GOP, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Newt Gingrich, call Obama a socialist or a Marxist--and that's not even getting at Michele Bachmann's re-education camps and Fox news' insinuations that Obama may be a Muslim terrorist or even the Antichrist.

Eventually, someone is going to act on that. After all, it's really the patriotic thing to do, isn't it? I mean if our leaders really are islamunistofascistoantichrists, you're not going to stop them at the ballot box.

I think it might be better to admit that although conservative eliminationist rhetoric might prompt a few acts of violence, most conservatives are far too cowardly to actually try to save the country from the imminent destruction they so terribly fear.

It's like back in the early days of the war, when a group called the Protest Warriors, spurred by rhetoric that the US was in a death struggle with Iraq, organized anti-anti-war protests. I joined them and suggested that we finish an anti-anti-war protest by marching to a recruiting center and signing up to serve. They kicked me out of the group for that. You see, actually doing something real to win the "life and death struggle with terrorism" was considered too dangerous, so they settled for screaming the word "traitor" at their fellow Americans.

I had a similar experience on the usenet group, misc.activism.militia, in the nineties. One of the colonels (they were all colonels, there) reported that Russian troops were gathering in the woods in Tennessee in preparation for a Klinton/United Nations takeover. I asked him why he wasn't doing anything to personally stop them--why wasn't his militia attacking them? He responded by promising to hunt me down and execute me for treachery. I laughed, because I knew he was also too cowardly to do that.

I can go on offering example after example of cowardice in the face of the impending destruction of all in which we believe, but I'll end with just one more. How many times have we heard people say that abortion is murder? Yet most of these people do nothing more than talk about it. They know that what they consider to be a murder will take place at a certain location between certain hours, yet they stand by idly as it happens.

So that's your argument. It's OK to incite conservatives to violence because most are too cowardly to actually defend their most basic beliefs.

Hmmmm. Or maybe it's that you know it's simply bullshit, but still, it's all you've got, so you run with it.

Gotta be the first one for me, because I'm certain Obama is the anti-christ.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Helping Sally Kern Save Hot Heterosexual Humanphibian Scroggin'

Sen. Randy Brogdon
Oklahoma State Senate

cc: Rep. Sally Kern

Dear Sen. Brogdon,

Considering your recent Ten Commandments victory, I think you have a great shot of getting the gubernatorial nod in the next election. I mean, hey, while everyone else was stumbling over each other to get any old version of the Big Ten placed on the capital grounds, you shut out the Catholics and Jews by demanding that only the Oklahoma version be allowed.

Now, while I'm happy the Revised Sooner Version includes, "Y’all shall not kill," I'm a bit concerned that I haven't seen the other nine. I hope Rep. Sally Kern gets a chance to help craft the one on adultery. It'd be a real shame if you omitted a loophole allowing for her favorite form of coupling, hot heterosexual humanphibian scroggin'. Maybe it could go something like this:

Y'all shall not do no fornicatin' or adultery or any kind of corn-holin' or bum-juggin' or putting your little sooner in someone's mouth or whatnot except with maybe a toad or a frog or a mule or any other opposite-sex water critter created by our Lord, five-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine-years-and-three-hundred-and-fifty-one-days-ago.

Yes, I think that will do it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot