Ex-Gay Porn Star
Disciple of Jesus and the Heterosexual Lifestyle
Dear Brother Sciambra,
I see that the wicked are mocking you for preaching that little demon-Americans are conceived during acts of anal sex. I may be able to help you refute their taunts by providing biblical support for your claim.
Few people know that a more complete, more ancient version of the Book of Luke was found in Egypt during the recent uprising there. Although it hasn't been fully translated yet, Chapter Eight is complete.
Luke 8 26-33 (the newly discovered "Lost Verses" verses are italicized):
26: And they arrived at the country of the Gadarenes, which is over against Galilee.
27: And when he went forth to land, there met him out of the city a certain man, which had devils long time, and ware no clothes, neither abode in any house, but in the tombs.Heterosexually yours,
27a: And Jesus asked Peter, "who is this man?"
27b: Peter spake in reply, "It is he who saw me and Thomas after we dranketh the seven goat bladders of wine thou transformed from the water you drew from the Samaritan's well.
27c: Peter's words angered Jesus. "Me damn it," shoutethed our Lord, you drank all seven of the goatbladders of water-wine. I was saving that for Mary Magdeline, so that she might heed my pleas to knoweth her in her secret parts in the manner of the warriors of Sparta.
27d: "But Lord," respondethed Peter, "Mary wouldst not drink that wine for it tasted like a Samaritan's secret parts."
27e: And Jesus asked Peter: "Why would devils take this man for simply seeing you and Thomas drink all my me-damned wine?"
27f: And Peter confessed unto the Lord: " Thomas and I got exceedingly drunketh and committed diverse acts in each others secret parts, yeah, even sinking our little camels deep inside the other's secret parts and thrusting our hips to and fro and in a circular fashion."
27g: And the santorum flowed with great force out of our secret parts and formed great pools upon the ground"
27h: And devils were birthed in the pools of santorum.
27i; And the devils rose out of the pools and splashed themselves over this man in a manner that tempted Thomas and me to send our little camels into each other's secret parts, again, making lakes, and yea, seas of santorum to birth all manner of devils.
27j "Verily," spake Jesus, "this man needeth my help and a thorough scrubbing. I shall approach him."
28: When the man saw Jesus, he cried out, and fell down before him, and with a loud voice said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most high? I beseech thee, torment me not.
29: (For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For oftentimes it had caught him: and he was kept bound with chains and in fetters; and he brake the bands, and was driven of the devil into the wilderness.)
30: And Jesus asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Legion: because many devils were entered into him.
31: And they besought him that he would not command them to go out into the deep.
32: And there was there an herd of many swine feeding on the mountain: and they besought him that he would suffer them to enter into them. And he suffered them.
33: Then went the devils out of the man, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the lake, and were choked.
33a: And Peter and Thomas looked upon the running swine's secret parts and were well pleased.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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