Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Jim Crow looks fabulous in pink

Michael Berman
Hilary Rosen
Interim Executive Directors, Human Rights Campaign

Dear Mr. Berman and Ms. Rosen,

I was as happy as a kleagle at a clog dance to hear that the Human Rights Campaign had fired Cheryl Jacques. Her refusal to downgrade HRC's position that marriage is an American right to one recognizing that it's a heterosexuals-only institution was far too uppity. It endangered the handful of gains homosexuals have made on other issues in a smattering of states and municipalities. Sometimes you just have to try to make the best out of what life deals you and be happy when you're allowed to dress Jim Crow up in Mahareshi fatigue pants and a fabulous luxe cashmere sweater.

I think your new strategy of horse-trading for your civil rights will pay off well. Tom DeLay is a generous man. I'm sure he could be persuaded to hold off on bills allowing for the stoning of homosexuals in exchange for your support of social security privatization--that is as long as you don't try to kill the inevitable Coburn "Pink Ghettos" Amendment. And if you're really lucky, you might even be able to trade tort reform support for a guarantee that sodomy won't be classified higher than a class 3 felony.

Welcome aboard the Glorious Christian Cultural Revolution. It might appear a bit intimidating to you now, but after a few stays in the Exodus Wing at the Ministry of Love, you'll start to feel like you truly belong.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.