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Saturday, November 04, 2006

Agents of Darkness

Make no mistake about the charges being made against Ted Haggard. It's a frame-up, pure and simple. Pastor Ted is being framed by a shadowy, diabolical (literally) group based in Colorado Springs that he calls "Control." He's been waging spiritual warfare against them since he founded his church in that city more than twenty years ago.

It hasn't been an easy struggle. His frequent, solitary forays into the city's homosexual bars to do missionary work raised more than a few eyebrows. So did his prayer vigils in front of the homes of witches. But he didn't allow the snickers and amused glances to slow him down. Instead, he put up a sign on the front of his church, declaring: "SIEGE THIS CITY FOR ME, signed JESUS."

The citizens of Colorado Springs answered Jesus' call and drove Control underground, turning their city into god-fearing place, a new Jerusalem for conservative evangelicals.

But while Control had been beaten, it wasn't destroyed. Its sex-demon-possessed members bided their time, waiting for an opportunity to strike back. That opportunity offered itself up one night a few years ago when Pastor Ted made a call to an escort service requesting that they send a manwhore to his hotel room to give him a massage.

That was it. That was all Pastor Ted asked of the manwhore--just an innocent massage. Sure, perhaps the manwhore's little soldier may have accidentally found its way into Pastor Ted's bunker complex and conducted a bit of reconnaissance, but those things happen when a man gets a massage. There's nothing homosexual about it. Even if you do it every few weeks with the same manwhore over a period of a couple of years.

The same goes for the methampetamine. When a guy goes to a city the size of Denver, he wants to experience everything the city has to offer: the food, the cultural attractions, the nightlife, the thrill of scoring hard drugs, the rush of stabbing and robbing a drunk guy in a dark alley--things like that. It doesn't make him a bad guy, just a tourist.

But unfortunately, the manwhore was a Control agent, and he's spinning these innocent messages and meth purchases into something evil, making it appear that Pastor Ted is a homosexual and a tweaker. You can bet that the public is going to buy into it too. That is unless good men and not-men like us stand up in support of Pastor Ted and write letters to the editor about our own massage mishaps innocent meth buying binges.

That's what I'm going to do after I finish writing this post, so look for my letter in Christianity Today.

Elsewhere: John Cole appears to be possessed by a French demon.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.