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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Meet Team McCain

Sen. John McCain

Dear Sen. McCain,

Congratulations for landing Pastor John Hagee's endorsement. It must be very satisfying. I know you sought it very hard.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how you'll take advantage of his particular skill set. Take prophecy for instance. While President Bush's faith-based approach to foreign policy and intelligence produced profound changes in our international prestige and internal security, so much more could have been done if he had instituted a more prophecy-centered decision-making process. Indeed, we could have finally dealt a death blow to the Whore of Babylon by liberating the Vatican from the clutches of the papal Antichrist.

On the domestic front, I think Pastor Hagee would be an excellent pick to head up the National Weather Service. After all, he was the only climate expert who actually identified what caused Hurricane Katrina: it was God's vengeance; He sent it in order to prevent a "homosexual parade...that was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other gay pride parades," from occurring (see video above)."

Think about it. With a combination of prayer, prophecy, and field reports from Peter LaBarbara, Pastor Hagee could prevent weather-related disasters simply by identifying and, with the help of the State Security Apparatus, preventing events that could prompt God's displeasure.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen, JC Christian, patriot

And speaking of prophets...

John Gorenfeld caught Truefather giving Orrin Hatch and GHW Bush a lecture on "free sex."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.