Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender
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Well! That was a shock! I should have seen it coming: Every Christmas, my Dad likes to dress up as Santa Claus, and pretend to come down the chimney with gifts for us. I suspect he just stands in front of the fireplace while Mom calls me upstairs. I am sure he is only kidding about the gifts. Anyway, Mom told me Dad died a few days ago. We had the ambulance and cops over and everything. His coloring and smell were really convincing! So, this morning, when Dad rose from the bed, dressed in swaddling loincloths like Jesus, and yelled "Easter Fools!", I about jumped out of my fucking skin. The main problem is, I took the occasion of Dad's "death" to do some "investigation." Now I have to sneak that porn back into Dad's room before he notices. Does anyone here adopt big kids? (Just in case.) Thanks, Your Easter pal, Capt. Twelve A.M. Midnight, E.S.T., C.E.
He's not unreasonable... he doesn't want to eat my eyeballs.
ReplyDeleteWell! That was a shock!
ReplyDeleteI should have seen it coming:
Every Christmas, my Dad likes to dress up as Santa Claus, and pretend to come down the chimney with gifts for us.
I suspect he just stands in front of the fireplace while Mom calls me upstairs. I am sure he is only kidding about the gifts.
Anyway, Mom told me Dad died a few days ago. We had the ambulance and cops over and everything. His coloring and smell were really convincing!
So, this morning, when Dad rose from the bed, dressed in swaddling loincloths like Jesus, and yelled "Easter Fools!", I about jumped out of my fucking skin.
The main problem is, I took the occasion of Dad's "death" to do some "investigation." Now I have to sneak that porn back into Dad's room before he notices.
Does anyone here adopt big kids? (Just in case.)
Thanks,
Your Easter pal,
Capt. Twelve A.M. Midnight, E.S.T., C.E.
If you haven't already, check out the rest of JoCo's other work - you can listen to his entire catalog here.
ReplyDeleteHe's a internet superstar, if such things exist.