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Wednesday, May 05, 2010

This luggage porter has a sweet, tight mule

The things they're saying about Dr. George Rekers can't be true. It just doesn't make sense that he's a secret homosexualist. He co-founded the Family Research Council with Dr. James Dobson for goodness sake. He's also on NARTH's board of directors. And as a member of the Heartland's most prestigious poopy sex investigation organization, The American College of Pediatricians, he's spent a good chunk of his life thinking about homosexualist potty practices and the danger they pose to this nation.

I believe Dr. Rekers when he says he has health problems and needs a strapping young man to carry his luggage. And I see nothing wrong with him hiring the guy after reading his profile at Where else would you look if you wanted to rent a boy to carry your luggage?

How could Pastor Rekers have known that his rentboy was a prostitute? There's nothing in the guy's profile that would suggest it. If anything, the profile is tailored to catch the attention of patriotic Americans who're planning trips to Europistan.

In one part, his profile says he has an "8 inch cock." Dr. Rekers probably saw that and thought, "I better have this guy bring his chicken along so we can cook it up and get all the beneficial steroids and antibiotics that European chickens lack." Sure, at eight inches, it's not a meaty cockerel, but that makes it easier to put in the plane's overhead compartment.

In another part of his profile, the rentboy notes that he has a sweet, tight ass. Hello! A mule is a handy thing to have when you're carrying luggage across Europistan. It also gives you something to do when you get homesick at night.

It all sounds very innocent to me.

These rentboys seem very helpful. I wonder if there's one who could help us with our armor on gladiator movie night.


  1. Oh my dear Lord! Visions of Dancing Dicks in Poopy Land dominate the night! Get me a buttery spread lickety split, my good man--I got a mule skinner in my pants and I'm gonna use it!


  2. All of the homosexual sublimation on the part of the religious right makes me feel much better of my compulsion to fuck Freud's mother.

  3. The good thing is, God has already forgiven him. He's right with the Lord, so it doesn't matter what we think.

    Anyway, it's not like he went all Ted Haggard or anything.

  4. Good thing Dr. Rektum is not afflicted with teh ghey. Because with that comb-over and the mustache, he resembles what was considered the "in" look for homosexualists in the 1970s and early 80s, as I recall from seeing pictures of those types at their sexoterrorist demonstrations at the time. Fortunately, with his sturdy frame beefing up the way it is, he won't have to worry about attracting the attention of any lithe young preeeeverts, as long as he keeps his wallet in his pants.

  5. From the article:

    He was soon followed out of customs by an old man with an atavistic mustache and a desperate blond comb-over, pushing an overburdened baggage cart.

  6. One report I read said that Rekers now claims he was "ministering" to the kid.

    Ah, says I, is that what they're calling it nowadays?

  7. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Pope does.

  8. Of course he was ministering to the rentboy, that is why he kept saying "Oh God" over and over.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.