Boy Scouts Ruining Cherished Cornholing Tradition

Family Research Council President Tony Perkins is as angry as a Teabagger-American on Cinco de Mayo about the Boy Scout's decision to rethink the whole treating homosexualists like real people thing. Here's what he had to say:

The Boy Scouts of America board would be making a serious mistake to bow to the strong-arm tactics of LGBT activists and open the organization to homosexuality.

A serious mistake, indeed. BSA's board of directors is tampering with one of scouting's most cherished institutions: the cornhole jamboree. Ask any scout and they'll tell you that the time they spent in tents cornholing were some of the greatest moments of his youth.

It was a great way for young men to experiment with the newly discovered hormones now racing through their bodies and discuss it in a way that is impossible to do with a hand or a donkey.

A scout could go from sleeping bag to sleeping bag all night long without anyone suspecting his commitment to the heterosexual lifestyle, because being hetero was a requirement to get in. Now, BSA is changing that by making the desire to cornhole a suspicious act.

I think I'll remove my star badge from my secret parts hiding place, wipe it off, and burn it right now.