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Monday, November 13, 2006

Another assault on our most cherished traditional values

Sybil Willingham
Member, Taylor County Board of Voter Registrars
President, Taylor County Historical/Genealogical Society
Secretary, Georgia Strawberry Festival
Chair, Taylor County Historic Preservation Commission

Dear Mrs. Willingham,

How much more humiliation can the traditionally-minded citizens of Taylor County, GA take? It's been a little over four years since outside agitators undermined our parental authority by convincing our teenage children to integrate their prom. Now, they're at it again, agitating brown people to complain about the veterans memorial at the courthouse simply because it's segregated.

Thank the Lord, you stood up to them and defended the memorial as a cherished piece of the Peach State's history, a prized heirloom honoring Georgia's treasured Jim Crow heritage.

It was a stirring defense, but unfortunately, playing defense isn't enough. As George Allen and the rest of the GOP learned last Tuesday, the forces of tolerance are far too strong to be defeated by defensive measures. We need to go on the offensive.

That's why I'm urging you to erect a new monument at the courthouse. I'm thinking along the lines of one of those high-tech animatronic things like you see at Disneyland. This one would be a life-like representation of Gov. Lester Maddox beating a couple of integrated prom-goers and a uppity dark-skinned veteran with a pick axe handle. By employing Disney's imagineering technology, Gov. Maddox could be made to whistle Dixie as he struck each blow. A small Confederate battle flag could also be made to pop up from the top of his head and wave from time to time.

That kind of technology is expensive, but I bet you could get George Allen and the Washington Times Editorial Board to help out with fundraisers. Heck, Judge Roy Moore might even be convinced to participate if you added a gas-fueled, eternally-flaming cross to the display.

I'll also be glad to help in any way I can.

Heterosexually yours (in a biblically approved, non-lustful kind of way),

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Update: Mrs. Willingham seems to be doing a bang up job promoting traditional values at the Strawberry Fesitival. There were only nine pictures of brown people in the 632 I browsed through at the festival's web site. Inasmuch as 42% of the county is brown, that's a ratio that'd make Gov. Maddox proud.

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