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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Balancing Science and Dittos

Stacey Locke
Principal, Eisenhower High

Dr. Benjamin A. Soria
Superintendent, Yakima County School District

Dear Mrs. Locke and Dr. Soria,

Those of us who detest rationalism and its hellish spawn, science and reason, are boisterously cheering you today. We applaud your decision to deny the Environmental Club's request to show An Inconvenient Truth at an after school meeting unless an opposing view is presented as well.

At first glance, that might seem like an insurmountable problem. Virtually every scientist who isn't employed by the Tobacco Petroleum Institute believes global warming is a fact. Even Our Leader now treats it as a reality.

Still, there are many of us who reject science and its devotion to empiricism because we'd rather believe in things that make us happy. We are legion, and thanks to many hours of listening to Rush Limbaugh, any one of us could deliver a devastating opposing view to that given by the climate change scientists cited in An Inconvenient Truth.

Take my friend Jethro for instance. He says global warming doesn't matter because the rapture is at hand. Cletis, on the other hand, blames climate change on immigration. He says America-hating "coyotes" are forcing immigrants to smuggle Mexican heat across the border. I think a herd of highly intelligent caribou, angry about plans to drill the ANWR, are using a giant blow dryer to heat the atmosphere and thereby discredit the oil companies. Any one of us could meet your demand for balance and we'd be happy to do so.

Please let me know the date and time and I'll make sure one of us will be there to present the opposing view.

Heterosexually yours (in a way of which my wife OfJoshua would approve),

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Other thoughts: Damn it's nice to see the fruits of Dinesh D'Souza's war against political correctness. He must be proud, because he never writes about it anymore.

Reminder: I put those email addresses there for a reason, people.

A helmet tip to OfJoshua.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.