Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Your Mother Sews Socks That Smell

Consider this scene. A colleague has been diagnosed with cancer. She's obviously depressed by that and a recent suicide attempt made by one of her closest friends. She's acting erratically, and for some unknown reason, you smell the scent of sulphur whenever you are around her.

Suddenly she collapses and suffers a seizure in front of you and a number of your colleagues. What do you do?

If you're a liberal, you'll probably make her comfortable while one of your colleagues calls an ambulance to take her to the hospital. That's the typical libislamunistofascist response--throw the insurance company's or taxpayer's money at a health problem.

Well Louisiana Governor and possible McCain running mate Bobby Jindal prefers another approach. When faced with the same situation in real life, he and his colleagues immediately began an exorcism by commanding the seizure demon to leave the stricken woman's body.

It wasn't an easy task. The demon didn't want to go. At one point Gov. Jindal and his fellow amateur exorcists had to physically hold the woman down so she wouldn't run away. Here's how he describes it:
Maybe she sensed our weariness; whether by plan or coincidence, Susan chose the perfect opportunity to attempt an escape. She suddenly leapt up and ran for the door, despite the many hands holding her down. This burst of action served to revive the tired group of students and they soon had her restrained once again, this time half kneeling and half standing.
The exorcism was successful beyond anyone's dream. Not only was the demon eventually defeated, but Gov. Jindal reports that the woman's cancer was cured as well.

Hopefully, Sen. McCain will indeed pick Gov. Jindal to be his vice president and put him in charge of reforming health care. Think of all the money that could be saved if we stripped our nation's clinics and hospitals of doctors and expensive technology and replaced it all with lay exorcists, handcuffs, and anointing oil.

No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.