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Friday, September 25, 2009

Socialists Plot to Seize our Means of Reproduction

Rep. Steve King
US House of Representatives

Dear Rep King,

A lot of people are laughing at you for stating something that should be obvious: the road to socialism will be paved by a married gay couple wielding aesthetically pleasing shovels.

I don't know why people would consider such a claim to be so ludicrous it deserves ridicule. After all, Marx did call for the proletariat to seize the means of production, and that's pretty much the same thing these love desegregationists are trying to do: seize the means of reproduction.

It's the next step I find particularly frightening. Sooner or later, they're going to figure out that the means of reproduction don't really reside within the sacred bonds of marriage; they're attached to our crotchal areas.

So if the gays are truly bent on seizing our means of reproduction, they're going to have to seize our manparts. That's even worse than todger honking. I'm not going to stand still for it.

That's what you should be talking about. People don't know what you mean when you say gay marriage will lead to socialism, so they laugh at you. But if you say, "The gays are plotting to seize our manparts." people our going to start paying attention. Then we can begin to address other grave socialist threats like the songs children sing at school.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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  1. Let me get this straight. Rep. Steve King, author of many fine and now classic horror novels, is a todger honker? Or is he opposed to the honking of the todger?. Obviously, I am confused.

  2. Is the honking of the todger anything like the hunting of the snark?

  3. I learned a new word today. Snooggling
    Sounds like the future is in your hands, sort a speak.

  4. General, Sir:

    I amember when I was a wee prat and trying to become a full-time boyscout (Webloes sucked--well, not precisely, but y'nowudimean.); I had to submit to an initiation where they were gonna nail my tallywhacker to a log that was already burning at one end and then see if I had enough scoutskilz to disattach myself--before I became a "hot dot"--without ripping off my nascent manhoodliness.

    Fortunately, for me, the smallest nails they had were too large in diameter for the job (not my fault, dammit, blame GOD). They decided to use a 1/2" romex staple, instead, and I just waited till they were through patting my robertson and when my "sinfull stiffiness" passed I pulled out ran for the hills. Sir, for want of a nail, your kingdom might never agot wheels and a first-rate mech like me!

  5. "production, and that's pretty much the same thing these love desegregationists are trying to do, seize.."

    now, take out whats in between the commas. re-read your paragraph..
    .. tell me if it makes sense..are you trying to speak russian?.. conjunctive adverbs..GENERAL.. use them ..or type in russian.. i told you to let me proof read everything..WEEKS AGO!

    Senselessly Blogging,
    Terence McManus

  6. in my exercize, did i mention you take out the commsa too?

    Artffully Yourn.

    Terence McManus ( as if you didnt kno )

  7. Terence, dear:

    As an admitted grammar fascist, the only suggestion I would make for the General's sentence (were I that presumptuous) would be to replace that second comma with a colon,thusly:

    "After all, Marx did call for the proletariat to seize the means of production, and that's pretty much the same thing these love desegregationists are trying to do: seize the means of reproduction."

    Removing part of a sentence (on which the dependent clause depends) and then complaining about the resultant sentence structure, makes no sense.

  8. who teh fuk do you athink youre dealing with?

    when do you want me to ask for you chumps name rank and number?

    Pissing You Off,
    Terence McManus

  9. Typing from teh deep end of teh pool. Yes.

  10. Gays control the meats of production.


  11. Terence McManus ( as if you didnt kno )"

    Scratching my head. Should I know you?

    I think the FakeFake name is a clue! The surname -- it contains the word "anus." Combined with the opening letter "m," it suggests "man anus."

    In Irish terminology, "Mc" means " son of," sorta like "ofJoshua." So this obscurantist ranter is claiming to be the spawn of a man's anus.

    Then we go to the "Terrence." More clues. "Tears" and "rents" suggest ripping injuries to the flesh.

    So what this person is trying to say subliminally is that he is the product of tears to a man's anus, as might happen to the loser of a particularly rough round of rogering the Cavern of Shame during Spartan wrestling. This sad, sick bastard is naming himself after the bloody, smelly oozings of harsh sodimitic action. He must really hate himself! I fully understand.

  12. tender hands/fists of greatness/iron
    you need to get an internet connection
    to find out stuff like thisbut as long as youre heere bukko in turnoil
    you won the poll ..everybody voted for you after you went that shocking #13.. a great latin dictionary and tools a whittakers words?., perhaps.. can be found free @ im sorry if youre not happy with teh prize
    i can send you another link if you are disatisfie thnx terencemcmanus washington geargia

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. mut not not
    french not french

    your post was early in, tehre i forgot, soryry

  15. no doubt, nutzali..grammars from all kind of languages can be used. i picked 'russian' as a language where comma splices are accepted..
    ( poetic lay, i felt it better than frech ,here )

    i feel you may like fusion foods?

  16. I thikk that Makemakesnosense may have slipped over the Aaron Kinney Event Horizon.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.