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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Satan is a Black Labrador Retriever

David Berkowitz was not responsible for murdering all those couples on various lovers lanes around New York. Sure, he pulled the trigger, but he's always placed the blame on outside malevolent controlling beings. At first, it was a neighbor's dog, who he called "Son of Sam." But now that he's found Jesus, he's dumped that silly "dog-made-me-kill" excuse, and named the true culprit behind his murders, Satan, Lord of Darkness:
Ever since I was a small child, my life seemed to be filled with torment. I would often have seizures in which I would roll on the floor. Sometimes furniture would get knocked over. When these attacks came, it felt as if something was entering me.

My mother, who has long since passed away, had not control over me. I was like a wild and destructive animal. My father had to pin me to the floor until these attacks stopped.

When I was in public school, I was so violent and disruptive that a teacher, who had become so angry at me, grabbed me in a headlock and threw me out of his classroom.

I was getting into a lot of fights, too. Sometimes I started screaming for no reason at all. My parents were then ordered by school officials to take me to a child psychologist or else I would be expelled. I had to go to this psychologist once per week for two years. Yet the therapy sessions had no affect on my behavior.

During this period of my life I was also plagued with bouts of severe depression. When this feeling came over me, I would hide under my bed for hours. I would also lock myself in a closet and sit in total darkness from morning until afternoon. I had a craving for the darkness and I felt an urge to flee away from people.

Occasionally this same evil force would come upon me in the middle of the night. When this would happen I felt an urge to sneak out of the house and wander the dark streets. I roamed the neighborhood like an alley cat and would creep back into the house by climbing the fire escape. My parents would never know that I was gone.

I continually worried and frightened my parents because I behaved so strangely. At times I would go the entire day without talking to them. I would stay in my room talking to myself. My parents could not reach me, not even with all of their love. Many times I saw them break down and cry because they saw that I was such a tormented person.

Now I was age 22 and this evil force was still reaching out to me. Everywhere I went there seemed to be a sign or a symbol pointing me to Satan. I felt as if something were trying to take control of my life. I began to read the Satanic Bible by the late Anton LaVey who founded the Church of Satan in San Francisco in 1966. I began, innocently, to practice various occult rituals and incantations.

I am utterly convinced that something satanic had entered into my mind and that, looking back at all that happened, I realize that I had been slowly deceived. I did not know that bad things were going to result from all this. Yet over the months the things that were wicked no longer seemed to be such. I was headed down the road to destruction and I did not know it. Maybe I was at a point where I just didn’t care anymore.

Eventually I crossed that invisible line of no return. After years of mental torment, behavioral problems, deep inner struggles and my own rebellious ways, I became the criminal that, at the time, it seemed as if it was my destiny to become.


  1. Satan? Maybe he could get OJ to help hunt him down!


  2. Anonymous6:17 AM

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  3. Gee, it's too bad there were no warning signs that he (and we) needed help.

  4. Strange, in all the shows I've seen about serial killers (practically the only thing on cable some days) that included the story of Son of Sam, Berkowitz was always described as a quiet, introverted child.

    You would think a violent home and school life would have been mentioned by somebody before now.

    Dave, if you're reading this, you'll get more sympathy and face time on television if you tell everyone you were punishing sinful women in order to save them.

  5. OK, now it's G.W.Bush' turn.

  6. I like the ad directly under the article when I 1st read it:

    Become a Pastor

    How apropos.

  7. If I had to bet on this I'd have to say the odds are strongly in favor of David Berkowitz going straight to Hell (without passing "Go" and without collecting his $200)as soon as he dies and I would place my bet accordingly.

  8. The wonderful thing about Christianity is that if David accepts Jesus as his Lord and Savior in the second before his death, he gets to go to heaven, but if you bust an artery with the sin of Onan staining your soul and your pants leg, it's hellfire and Satan's three-pronged hayfork up your butt for all eternity, because Jesus loves you.

  9. So does this mean he's been doing well on anti-psychotics?

  10. With respect, Mr. Berkowitz, there are many people who become confirmed Satanists who would never do the things that you did.
    Whether or not a conversion to Christianity proves salvific in this case, I really don't know.
    He seems to be the kind of person who will have to spend the rest of his life emptying his mind to try to save it from the flood he let in all those years ago.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.