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Monday, April 02, 2012

When Jefferson Davis Met RuPaul

We Confederate-Americans love our flag. It reminds us of a better time, a time when having a confederate complexion instilled a sense of accomplishment, a time when the sheer wretchedness of one's life could be redeemed by the ability to produce a freckle.

That's why we get so angry when our flag is displayed in such a way as to wickedly trick us into achieving a state of inappropriate tumescence--the very thing that happened last week when a group of proud Confederate-Americans visited the Museum of the Confederacy at Appomattox.

Southern Heritage Alerts reports:
Yesterday, Va Flaggers visited the Museum of the Confederacy at Appomattox, and were outraged to discover a highly offensive display featuring a life-sized photo of cross-dresser Ru Paul, wearing a dress with an image of the Confederate Battle Flag. The photo that was secured and sent to other Flaggers was quickly disseminated, reaching all the way to National Sons of Confederate Veterans Leadership by late last evening, who quickly issued a public statement of condemnation, and called its members to action.
Absolutely shameful. Imagine their embarrassment as they found themselves desperately scrambling to hide their little Parrott rifles. Scores of turgid man cannons swinging wildly every which way, striking buttocks and, yes, even each other, as they vainly attempted to retreat from the sight of our glorious standard draped so erotically over large perky breasts, fleshy hips, and God help us, a hidden package of the most unheartlandish of hues.

Oh Lord, please wipe these memories from these good men's heads.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6:41 AM

    But Kid Rock in the Stars & Stripes, now that's patriotic.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.