Marcus Bachmann's Hellish Celibate Nightmare

Barth's Notes on Religion offers up this tidbit about the sorely missed Bachmann presidential campaign:

Michele Bachmann’s high-profile debate coach, Brett O’Donnell, developed an “unnatural” and “Rasputin-like” relationship with his candidate during her failed 2012 presidential campaign, another former aide told BuzzFeed, a charge O’Donnell denies.
Peter Waldron, an evangelical organizer who served as Iowa field coordinator for Bachmann and helped her win the Ames straw poll said O’Donnell exercised an “unusual power over Mrs. Bachmann.”…
“He prohibited her husband, Dr. Marcus Bachmann, from sleeping in the same room with wife while on the campaign trail.”

Let me repeat that last part in case you missed it: “'He prohibited her husband, Dr. Marcus Bachmann, from sleeping in the same room with wife while on the campaign trail.'”

Can you imagine how hard that was for Dr. Bachmann, one of our nation's foremost warriors for the heterosexual lifestyle? I mean we're talking months of missing intimate contact. How many games of "Turkish Prison," "The Sailor and the Cabin Boy," and "Scenes from 'Deliverance'" went unplayed? More importantly, how many light bulbs did the Bachmanns lose to Obama's bulb grabbers because they were denied an opportunity to hide them in Marcus's "secret place?"

Until now, I didn't understand the depth of Marcus's sacrifice. It only makes me love him more (in a purely heterosexual kind of way, of course).