The Righteous Rantings of an Unheartlandishly-Hued Patriot

I paid a visit to the Thinking Housewife expecting to see charges of heresy lodged against the homosexualist-loving usurper Pope who replaced our revered Pöpenfüherer. Instead, I found an unheartlandisly-hued, paragraph-fearing patriot righteously ranting about his own inferiority:

With the black race, regarding important matters that form functioning societies, the issue cannot be reduced to terms such as “less functioning” and “less capable.”  Rather, blacks as a group are largely incapable of the markers of normal civilization and healthy societies, as exemplified by the likes of Haiti, Detroit, East St. Louis, south-side Chicago, and much of the African sub-continent (unless one deems wretched villages and slums teeming with bastardy, absentee fathers, polyandry, crime at peerlessly high levels, disease, and ignorance as functioning).  In other words, the black race does not seem to fall within a clear behavioral continuum with the rest of humanity, but inhabit its own unique area that has little overlap with those of other races.  For instance, does any other place on Earth, during peacetimes, fall to such ruination and seeming hopelessness as black-occupied lands?  One might proffer the Muslim world as an example.  Indeed, Islam has corrupted Middle Eastern peoples to staggering obscenities, but their problems are mostly religious.  The problems of blacks chiefly lie with themselves.

If only he had thrown in a few random caps followed by a series of exclamation marks, we'd have the makings for our first unheartlandishly-hued conservative superstar. Yet, I dare say that even without those required embellishments, Mr. A Reader has a bright future as a minority outreach director for the GOP and Fox News Channel's official "The Problems with Negroes Consultant."

But then again, maybe I've fallen victim to creeping liberalism by praising this patriot. Perhaps the Thinking Housewife's Donald expresses a more proper conservative response:

I doubt that the writer is actually a negro. I am in my 60′s and grew up around colored people, and I have never heard such thoughts and feelings coming from them. No not even once. That kind of deep and critical self-reflection is so very rare among blacks that I suspect hoaxcraft.

Let no one say that post-racial conservatives are afraid to have a dialog on race.