Often, it takes more than plump luscious lips to make a purdy mouth. The ability to spin a good yarn is important too. That's what this list is all about. The following folks have mouths that aren't only physically purdy, they're also able to convince us of things that would seem absolutely ludicrous if they came out of someone else's mouth.
Number 1: Presidential Spokesman Ari Fleischer
From calling Ariel Sharon "a man of peace" to declaring that leaders of other nations are not buyable, the man can sell just about anything.
Number 2: President George W. Bush
When our President tells me that Saddam bin Laden plans to launch evil robotic aircraft against us, I have to admit It scares the hell out of me.
Number 3: US Secretary of Obsequiousness Tony Blair
He promoted a college thesis into a reason to go to war.
Number 4: US Secretary of State Colin Powell
He was able to convince me, and much of America, that when bin Laden asks the people of Iraq to rise up against their socialist infidel leadership, he really means that he is working hand in hand with the dictator of Iraq.
Number 5: Militia Morale Officer Sheila
Sheila doesn't speak, but she has a purdy mouth. The men who serve under me love her. That said, if she could speak, she'd probably tell a bunch of damned lies about me. She isn't to be trusted.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.