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Thursday, November 27, 2003

Fiscal Responsibility

I've been hearing a lot of traitorous talk about our Congress lately. The America-haters are whining about the deficit. They just can't see how important it is to increase spending while cutting taxes. They don't understand that massive debt is a good thing. It builds character. I like to think of it as a gift to our grandchildren's grandchildren.

All this bellyaching is really about power. The Democrats in Congress are angry because they have none. That's the real reason they complain. Thank God our Republican Leadership in Congress isn't bothered by any of this. They've kept their eyes on the prize and have passed important appropriations like these:
  • $750,000 for a taxidermy museum in St. George, Utah. For three quarters of a million, we can do away with the billions spent to save endangered species. Why would anyone want to trek through miles of cold wilderness anyway, when they can see a grizzly while munching on a twinky in the toasty comfort of a room heated with electricity generated by modern clean coal technology.

  • $2.3 million earmark for an International Fertilizer Center. Our Leader has almost singlehandedly closed the "fertilizer gap." With this funding and a couple more State of the Union addresses, America will finally become a synonym for fertilizer.

  • $1 million to “The First Tee” a program of the World Golf Foundation aimed at teaching young people to play golf. Golf is more than a game. It teaches people the importance of traditional conservative values like self reliance. Rush Limbaugh knows how important it is. He risked drug addiction in order to overcome his physical pain so that he could play every chance he got. Next to massive debt, it's the most important gift we can give our children.

  • $90,000 to the Cowgirl Hall of Fame. There are no cowgirls in Muslim countries. It's one of the reasons they hate us. I say, "Osama, get over it."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.