Jesus' General

Family values and adoption

The Farmer, who as a man of the soil has been able to resist the gaulist siren call sung so enticingly by his comrades at Corrente , sent me the following note about this "Adopt an Atheist" idea:

Many things trouble me but this particular item concerned me enough to believe I should bring it to your attention should you decide to take some retalitory action. It was apparently a directive set into motion by that powerful Frenchman Atrios.

What concerns me is the possibility of homosexuals adopting journalists. Especially leftist angry homosexuals who will not provide a corrective Christian heterosexual male dominated nurturing environment for such adoptions.

As you are aware, many homosexuals have already adopted a vast range of traditionally male heterosexual dominated right thinking institutions; such as retail ladyswear and lion taming. I am now extremely concerned that heterosexuals may soon be losing valuable rights with respect to the adoption of journalists. Should adoptions such as this be allowed to continue America will be left with a journalistic heritage that resembles little more than a French pastry baking magazine.

And that troubles me.

I thought that perhaps you might like to address this issue and its ramifications since you command the authority and respect required for such first line of defense awareness campaign.

Of course I will gladly provide any tactical support in your efforts to outflank the enemy, and crush the serpent of leftist homosexual journalist adoption in its pink frilly nest, thereby preventing further generations of potential syndicated TownHall.com journalists from becoming sissy theater review hacks for the New York Times Arts section.

I also realize that the word ramification is a big "funny" sounding word, with a particularly exciting appeal, for some reason, but I use it only in the most heterosexual concerned Christian American appeal kind of way.

Yours truly concerned in troubling times,
- the farmer

I share The Farmer's concern. We need to head off these homosexuals by adopting all the journalists first.

I'll take Wolf Blitzer. He's kind of like a journalist. If he acts up--and I know he will, because he's a spirited stallion who will fight any cowboy who dares run spurs across his defiant flanks--I'll take him to my punishment room, or as I like to call it, "The Chamber of Love and Correction," and spank his bare manly bottom until it's as red as Our Leader's nose on New Years Eve.