Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, March 22, 2004

Paying homosexuality's price

Dear President Keiser and students of Southwest Missouri State University,

Mr. President, there are many of us in this great nation who share your belief that homosexuality is a "perversion," and we thank you for excluding homosexuals from your discrimination policy. Now, it's up to your students, staff, and faculty to take it to the next step and begin discriminating against them.

It's going to be a tough sell for many. Discrimination has received a bad rap over the last forty or so years. Still, it's something that needs to be done. Our children's future depends on it.

You see, homosexuals need to pay a price for being who they are. Otherwise, there would be nothing to prevent the rest of us from becoming entangled in homosexuality's lavender splendor. The temptations posed by men wearing spandex biking shorts alone are enough to put most of us in seats for Avenue Q. I'm not even going to mention the upcoming baseball season with its endless series of scratching and cup adjustments.

Systematic discrimination is the only effective means for countering temptations like these. You've taken the first step, now it's time to finish the job.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.