Jesus' General

The man behind the curtain

I've been absolutely amazed by Our Leader's long string of policy successes:

• His war on terror is going great--Our Leader has Osama just where he wants him.
• The situation in Iraq is a testament to the thoroughness of the his post-war planning.
• He is on track to break an employment record previously set by another great conservative president, Herbert Hoover.
• His Secretary of State, Energy, and Reselection, Prince Bandar, promises lower gas prices this fall.
• His Clear Skies initiative allows us to see the air we breath and his Healthy forests Initiative will finally gives us a clear view of the forests once he removes all of the trees.
• His fiscal policy is bound to result in inflation--that means a boost in the dollar cost of American produced goods.
• His education policies are teaching schools important economic lessons and giving more children than ever the opportunity to pursue GEDs through independent study.

The secret to this success is revealed in the Japanese newspaper, The Asahi Shimbun, where Toru Takanarita writes, "...[Dan] Quayle is believed to wield influence over the current administration."

Of course that's it. Quayle is influencing Our Leader's policies. His fingerprints are all over them. I can't believe that I hadn't noticed how Quaylesque this Administration is until now.