Dear Dr. Laura,
I was saddened to read that Our Leader won't be attending his daughters' graduations because he was worried that the security precautions would inconvenience the other parents. Then, I learned that he will be Louisiana State University's graduation speaker. I found that a bit confusing. Why would he miss his daughters' graduations, but attend LSU's? The security situation would be the same.
Then it struck me. Louisiana is a battleground state. He's doing it for political reasons. He understands that the parents of graduating LSU students won't mind the extra security because they'll be helping him on his quest to provide us with another four years of his bold leadership.
Dr. Laura, I hate to see him miss his own daughters' big day. I hope you'll consider asking him to request to be the speaker at their graduations. That way, it'd be a political event and he could attend.
I bet he'd listen to you. I know you've been a big supporter of his and that you're very respected in conservative circles--especially now that you're no longer a Jew.
Please consider it.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, Patriot
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.