Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Thursday, June 03, 2004

Request for secret information

Dear Under Secretary Feith,

I am a general in the unorganized militia and not in your chain of command. That said, I trust that our shared vision of what constitutes an ideal America binds us in a way that is stronger than any command structure. We, sir, are freedom's warriors, and as such, we must strive to assist each other in our individual endeavors.

I need such assistance now. As you surely know, Klinton's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy has resulted in the infiltration of many homosexuals into our armed forces. There is nothing we can do about it as long as they avoid alerting us to their orientation.

I have a plan to smoke a few of them out. All I need is the code to access a pornographic website called UncutGladiatorParty.com. It will allow me to look at the site's pictures to see if any of the participants look like soldiers. If they do, I'll send the pictures to CID.

It's my understanding that you have access to broken secret codes and that you sometimes share that knowledge with your drinking buddies. Could you get me the secret code to UncutGladiatorParty.com?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot
truebeliever(at)softhome.net

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.