Sen. Frist asks the General for help

The past few months have been good for the General. First, the Department of Homeland Security tells me my service is needed for the War on Terrorism and asks me to fly the flag on Flag Day. Then today, Majority Leader Frist and Pastor Donald Wildmon invite me to help them pass the Homosexual Discrimination Amendment.

Here's part of their email:

Dear JC,

Next week the U.S. Senate will be voting on the Federal Marriage Amendment. This amendment would define marriage as the union of one man and one woman, and is a necessary addition to our Constitution. The FMA is vital to preserve the institution of marriage in our country.

I can tell you that your voice matters. As Senators, it is our responsibility to listen to you. So I encourage you to make your views known.

Thank you for standing up to protect marriage.

Senator Bill Frist, M.D.
Majority Leader
United States Senate

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From Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

Would you take a moment and act on the request of Senator Frist? All he is asking is that you make two phone calls to your Senators. These could be the most important phone calls you will ever make for the future of your country and your children.
[...]
Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

Here's my response:

Dear Sen. Frist,

Thank you for writing me about the Homosexual Discrimination Amendment. I was pleased to see that you have teamed up with Donald Wildmon to get it passed. He's been a hero of mine ever since he exposed Mighty Mouse's abuse of cocaine--that took a lot of guts considering the wretched rodent's super strength and ability to fly.

I'm one hundred percent with you in this effort to deny homosexuals the right to marry those they love. The very thought of two men or two women entering into a covenant to love, honor, and cherish each other until the day they die just sickens me.

It's good for a society to reserve the granting of basic human rights to selected groups. It gives people something to which to aspire once their white collar salaries become service economy hourly wages or unemployment benefits. Americans may not be able to reclaim their former standards of living, but, by gosh, they have an opportunity to overcome oppression and achieve status in those classes that are privileged with rights. All they need to do is suppress their innate attraction to those of the same sex. It's the new American Dream.

Well, I'm off to write my Senators.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

The General urges all his readers to follow his lead and contact their Senators. This is important. We need to soundly defeat the opposition on this. Our nation's soul is at stake. Write your Senators by clicking here. After you've sent a note, give them a call. Here's a list of phone numbers for their DC and state offices.