Our Savior Steps Out

This column has to know the enemy to expose its vile lies. The best way to keep tabs on what those traitors are up to is following up on the friends of our enemies. One of the biggest traitors is that French journalist Atrios, and the comment section over there leads patriots to minefields of Godless hate speech.

Here's one from the peanut gallery: a link to a Dating to Save. Never mind the fact that a single woman should be living in her father's house while he chooses her husband and lord; this woman deliberately witnesses to unbelievers and claims its a calling. Why she has the audacity to sell clothing (including a thong) with her blasphemous ten commandments imprinted on them. I believe the General has already recommended more appropriate underclothing for believers.

Such unfeminine behavior has brought out critics of this misguided young lady. So if the friend of mine enemy is still an enemy, then what of the enemy of the friend of mine enemy? This is a bit complex, but bear with me: it's a friend. That's right, one of us! Please support the efforts of righteous man Eric Schwartz, who is so manly, he will willingly forego our Savior's blessings on his little soldier. He even wrote a hymn about it, and best of all, it mentions Our Leader as well! A man who writes sacred music is clearly on God's side! I'm sure he'll be asked to do the Coronation, as the entertainment committee has some equally high-powered performers already scheduled.

For those who are insufficiently blessed to view the video, here is the hymnal page.