Defending marriage

A God-fearing woman from Ohio has opened up a second front in the war to protect the institution of marriage. Bai Macfarlane is asking the state to remand her divorce case over to the Catholic Church. In effect, such a move would end the proceedings since the Church is strongly opposed to divorce.

I hope she's successful. People shouldn't be allowed to throw away their marriage vows simply because they hate each other. Heck, my own parents' marriage was absolutely miserable. You see, Mom was insanely jealous of my father's special friendship with his favorite sheep, Lambchop, and she made Dad suffer because of it. Christmas was the worst. Dad would give my mom her present--always a dress from K-Mart. She'd smile and laugh, and we'd all be happy for a minute. Then, Dad would bring out Lambchop's dress. Mom would see that it was in a fancy gold colored Nordstroms box, and she'd start screaming. That would set Dad off. He'd make some comment about how nylon looked better over wool than it did over cellulite, and Mom would pull her Colt Python .44 cal. revolver out of her bra and shoot him in some fleshy part of his body.

Sure, I grew up thinking that everybody ate Christmas dinner in hospitals, but, damn it, we remained a family, and that's what's important. Children need an intact family no matter how dysfunctional it may be. That's what Mrs. MacFarlane's advisor, Judy Parejko, says. She's an expert on family issues--her article on the relationship between divorce and mass murder is a must read.

I'm praying that MacFarlane's plea is granted. The institution of marriage belongs to everyone. Even those who hate each other.

Update: Bellatrys tells us that the man Bai Macfarlane wants to keep is ultra-conservative Catholic author Bud MacFarlane.