Cross-dressing and camouflage

Jerry Gore
Principal, Spurger Elementary

Dear Mr. Gore,

I applaud you for abandoning your school's plans to encourage students to cross-dress on TWIRP day. Your idea to replace it with wear-your-camouflage day was inspired, but I'm not sure you thought it completely through.

Isn't it just as morally dangerous to dress our little girls in soldier outfits? Wouldn't it be better to encourage them to wear frilly, feminine, gingham dresses? After all, by putting them in the uniform of a manly occupation like soldiering, aren't you in danger of inviting a whole range of immoral thoughts to invade their pretty little heads, things like working outside the home for equal pay, questioning their future husbands' decisions, and other immoral, dangerous, feminist-inspired ideas?

Don't get me wrong. I think wear-your-camouflage day is a great idea, but it should be limited to boys. If you really think you need to include the girls in some way beyond having them wear frilly, feminine, gingham dresses, then perhaps you could encourage them to bring their guns to school. It would allow them to express their patriotism in a way that wouldn't include cross dressing. You could even hold a contest for the most girlish gun. They could tie pretty bows to their 12 gauge Mossberg shotguns and wrap their Kalashnikov assault rifles with fancy ribbons.

I hope you like my ideas, because nothing says "traditional moral values" quite like a room full of gun-toting kids dressed in camouflage and frilly, feminine, gingham dresses.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


Thanks to David for the tip.