Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")
Thanks!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Chi-Coms tempt me with promises of potency

The Frenchie, S.Z., from World O'Crap recently sent me the following:

General,

I was at NewMax, reading their fair and balanced coverage of all the news that's fit and strong and masculine, when I saw this link:

She'll Never Leave You When You're Ready for Action

It turned out to be a new story about how the chi-coms are trying to kill our women using kung-gu sex on them (or something). Here's the first part of it:

Introducing the Life, Love and Relationship Enhancing ... "Chuang Shang de Gong Fu" - China's Secret Sexual Kung Fu Love Making System - It'll Make You the Master of Any and All Bedroom Suites

Wednesday, 6:57 a.m.
Beijing, China

Dear Friend,

If you've ever felt the humiliating sting of a lover saying that your "little soldier" ain't quite up to snuff...


Anyway, since I have never heard anyone else use the phrase "little soldier," I think they must be talking directly to you (but were too shy to use direct marketing). I thought I should pass this along to you.

Sincerely,

S.Z. from World O'Crap

Obviously, the Chi-Coms--I refuse to call them "Red" Chinese since red is now our color--are trying to tempt me into committing treason. They have my dossier. They know the emotional pain I've suffered since Klinton killed my little soldier. Now, they are using this information to subvert my love for my country.

I will resist them by waving my flaccid little soldier proudly in their socialist faces, and I pray that should it poke them in their eyes, God will give it enough rigidity to blind them. I'll also be writing NewsMax to request an accounting of their relationship with these Godless socialists.

No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.