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Monday, March 28, 2005

Move over, Morning Zoo

Get ready America for the nation's next radio superstar:

After a three year sabbatical, like the aging of a fine wine, Randall Terry is back with depth, humor, comedy bits, and energy that is sure to make him one of the top contenders in the realm of talk radio.

You'll roll on the floor when you hear comedy bits like this:

Terry: Welcome to Randall Radio. Today, we're calling Planned Parenthood clinics throughout the tri-state area.

[dialing]

PP: "Planned Parenthood. How can I help you?"

Terry: "YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL WHILE DEMONS FEAST ON YOUR EYEBALLS!" [rimshot] [click]

[laugh track]

[dialing]

PP: "Planned Parenthood. How can I help you?"

Terry: "Is my handmaid, Bilhah, there?" [rimshot]
[click]

[laugh track]

[dialing]

PP: "Planned Parenthood. How can I help you?"

Terry: "SLUT!" [rimshot]
[click]

[laugh track]

Terry: It's twelve minutes after the hour and we're calling Planned Parenthood clinics.

[dialing]

PP: "Planned Parenthood. How can I help you?"

Terry: "YOUR UTERUS BELONGS TO THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION!" [rimshot]
[click]

[laugh track]

[dialing]

PP: "Planned Parenthood. How can I help you?"

Terry: "THERE'S A BOMB IN YOUR CLINIC" [rimshot]
[click]

[laugh track]

Terry: "We've run out of time for this segment. Please stay tuned because after the break, we'll be talking about "choosing life" with America's latest clog dancing divas, The Stepford Wives."

Note: Yes, it's not quite Monday yet, but I could feel that Latin American speaking Frenchwoman hot on my trail.

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