Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Sunday, March 27, 2005

She spends her day inciting mobs and washing feet and still looks pretty at 6pm.

Jen Schroder

Dear Miss Schroder,

I've been a fan of your work for quite a while. I'm particularly fond of two pieces of your artwork, Edugod, in which you depict an evil education God striking impressionable children with lightening bolts of critical thinking, and Crucifying the Holy Temples, where you show atheists, homosexuals, Muslims, and the National Education Association nailing the body of Christ to a cross.

You've surpassed yourself, however, with the graphic you posted in your column, yesterday. Portraying Florida's Supreme Court justices as terrorists was pure genius. It's good to see that Godly people have discovered that inciting mobs to commit violent acts is an effective way to exercise our right to petition our government to redress grievances. Certainly, it is what Jesus had in mind when he worked through our founding fathers to create our constitution.

I bet it was this kind of christo-anarchist thinking that convinced Alan Keyes to publish your work. That and the foot washing. As I'm sure you've learned from your footwashing wench ministry, there's nothing a man likes more than to have an unfamiliar woman wash his feet. It gives us a glimpse of the power we once held and will someday hold again.

Thanks again for brightening so many of my days with your columns, artwork, and promises of footwashing.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.