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Friday, May 20, 2005

Auburn Blues

The General apologizes for the late post. I'm on the road today, exercising my patriarchal authority over Ofjoshua as she enters into one of the darkest dens of iniquity, a teachers conference at a local community college.

Although I was glad to finally find an available hotel room when I was doing my last minute search the other day, I was a little wary of staying at a Travelodge--they don't have the best reputations for comfort and cleanliness. This Travelodge, however, had appended the word "suites" to it's name, suggesting roomy and comfortable accommodations. Its website also boasted that it had wireless web access in every room.

Arriving late last night, I was welcomed to the hotel by a life-sized cardboard figure of a NASCAR driver. I found that very reassuring--such displays are the epitome of class.

Unfortunately, aside from the do-it-yourself waffles, that has been the highlight of my stay thus far. It seems that when Travelodge uses the word "suites" it means a 12'X12' room with a foam rubber pad lying in the window ledge as a second bed and when they say "wireless internet available in every room," they mean that every room located within the confines of their spacious 20'X20' lobby has wireless access.

The only thing keeping my spirits up is the knowledge that I'm in Auburn, WA, the home of one of America's most patriotic citizens, WA State Sen. Pam Roach. The General loves Mrs Roach. I once saw her intimidate the heck out of a county sheriff by videotaping him from her committee seat in a Senate hearing. The sheriff was testifying against a bill she supported which would have made it legal to shoot and kill trespassers without regard to whether they posed a threat or not. By videotaping him, she was sending him a message that his testimony could end up in an ad attacking him for being soft on crime. I had never seen anything like it. Senators are not usually so viciously partisan when they're hearing testimony. Perhaps she was also sending a message to the other Washington, telling the Republican majority that understands their new style of senatorial comity and is ready for the big show.

Sen Roach also likes to show people the gun she carries in her purse. She loves to wave the thing around as a way of announcing her strong supports of the Second Amendment. I wrote her about it awhile back --it was long before I started blogging--and asked her if she's ever shot anyone. She replied that she packs heat so that she won't have to shoot anyone. Now that's the kind of common sense logic that'll eventually propel her to positions of greater responsibility like a leadership position in the US Senate.

I hope I run into her today. I've been practicing putting my hands up and making slow deliberate moves in case I do see her. I don't want her to mistake me for a trespasser.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.