Saluting a "sex nazi"

Jim West
Mayor, City of Spokane

Dear Mayor West,

I've been a big fan of yours since your days in the legislature. No Senator fought the homosexual with more ferocity than you. It was a treat to see you in action.

Now, I read that the homosexuals are getting their revenge by accusing you of porking other men. I don't believe it. Sure, you might have pretended to be a homosexual and in doing so may have written , "true consenting adults must have the ability to protect their privacy or else the damn sex nazis will be telling everyone what to do." I know you didn't mean it, because I'm pretty sure that I've seen you dressed in sex nazi gear, yourself.

It was back in February. I was in Seattle receiving punishment for having impure thoughts during Toby Keith concert. You were there as well I think, waiting to see the nice man who spanks people for money. As I recall, you were wearing what appeared to be a leather version of an SS uniform except with chaps instead of pants. I think we talked for a few minutes about which instrument of punishment was better--I preferred the Might Spatula of Redemption, while you argued that the Terrible Auger of Agony has no match.

I enjoyed meeting you. I'd be glad to be a character witness. Give me a call

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot