Homersexshuls, Bestialists, and Batshit-Crazies, Oh My!

Tim Wildmon
American Family Association
American Family Radio

Dear Mr. Wildmon:

I recently saw, via the very worldly Media Matters, a short bit of transcript of your American Family Radio show, and I must say, I was duly impressed.

Throughout my very few years in New Orleans commercial radio, Mr. Wildmon, I attempted to use the airwaves to spread The Truth. Perhaps it was because I was a mere woman, but my efforts were met with nothing but resistance. So it does my heart much good to see that there are good men such as yourself out there on the airwaves, fighting the scourges of homosexuality, lesbianism, and home improvement.

After all, if it were not for the homosexuals, would America ever have fallen prey to the Wally World and Target-happy cult of Re-Decorating? Certainly not. If those bossy homosexuals hadn't gone nearly door-to-door with their "taste" and their "creativity" via shows like "Decorating Cents" (and you can't even BEGIN to convince me that the flip-haired Joan Steffend is a 100%-heterosexual non-lesbian, good christian BREEDER!) and that Jeff Corwin on Animal Planet --- why, every time he fondles some small, furry animal, I just KNOW that he's wishing that it were a small, furry altar boy!

Thank you so much, Mr. Wildmon, for bringing the seditious and secretive homersexshuality of HGTV and Animal Planet to my attention. I have vowed, from this day forth, to neither watch these hedonistic networks, nor to subscribe to their consumeconsumeconsume mantra, nor their "earth-friendly" brain-washing. For while their battling philosophies might lead one to believe that they are simoultaneously encouraging women to stay home (where they belong, obviously) and decorate and cook and clean and organize for their families, and then also trying to drag us all out INTO THE WORLD, which, as we all know, is a very scary place that should be avoided at all costs --- you have shown me that these are merely the surface ideals of these heathen corporations.

For if we simply and naively watch these programs, trusting that they really DO want to "help" and/or "educate" us about our own lives and this planet, we will obviously fall victim to their oh-too-subtle siren song of "acceptance" and "permissiveness" and "independent thought."

After all, if we all thought for ourselves, what need would we have for good Christian leaders such as yourself? It would lead to anarchy --- ANARCHY, I tell you!

Thank you again for showing us the way, Mr. Wildmon... and btw, could you also enlighten me as to your relationship with Reverend Donald Wildmon? I mean, since y'all share a surname, I would most certainly hope that this does not connote some kind of homosexual civil-union-type thing. 'Cause that would blow the whole AFA mission all to hell.

Sincerely,

Anntichrist S. Coulter
Faithful Listener

(Helmet Tip to Pissed-Off Patricia for the story lead.)

UPDATE: Letter received today from David Brown Grossman of Media Matters For America --- "Dear blogger who goes by the online nickname 'Anntichrist S. Coulter.'”: I just finished reading your open letter to Tom Wildmon of the American Family Association over at Jesus’ General. That was friggin’ hilarious in my humble opinion (I’m forwarding around to some of other Media Matters staff here – that was one of the more creative uses of our research!)."

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!