It's the other side that's crazy

Brandi Swindell
Candidate for Boise City Council

Dear Mrs. Swindell,

I can't say I was surprised to read on your web site that the Conservation Voters for Idaho is a front for radical environmentalists from Washington State. Lord knows such an organization couldn't be local. Idahoans know that the environmental movement is part of the great Mus-Com Conspiracy to undermine our Christian values by denying us our God-given right to clear-cut forests.

I have high hopes for you today. I can't see how you can lose. Unlike the conservation and sterwardship-minded radicals who support your opponent, your supporters seem to be as mainstream as they come. One only needs to look at the endorsements on your site to see that.

Take Graham Paterson for instance. His work as a spokesman for former Congresswoman Helen Chenoweth was outstanding. After all, he brought respectability to endangered sockeye salmon bakes and supporting the militia movement. And working with someone like Rep. Chenowyth couldn't have been easy--one of her own fellow Republicans said that she was "living proof that you can fuck your brains out."

I bet you're very proud that you didn't need to go any farther than to a pair of the anti-choice groups you lead to find supporters as mainstream as Barbara Gough and Jean Pierre (Pete in American) Espil. There's no better way to gauge a person's character than to watch him or her scream "baby murderer" at a desperate, frightened, vulnerable young woman.

Pete seems to be particularly accomplished at that kind of thing, and I couldn't help but chuckle when I compared his letter defending you against those who equate your handsome features with stupidity and a web posting he wrote, noting that a feminist earned her name, Bambi, because of her lack of intellect.

Then there are the "Keep the Commandments" three, Maggie Williams, Elaine Jones, and Penny J. Nygaard. Mainstreamers all, and valiant soldiers in the battle against secularism. You probably got to know Penny very well when you were arrested together for interfering with a judicial order. Nothing brings two people together better than gambling for smokes in the big house.

Well, good luck.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to reader Roy.