Elton John destroys a marriage

Dennis Prager
The Dennis Prager Show

Dear Mr. Prager,

I'm a little confused by your announcement that you're divorcing your bride of seventeen years. Coming at the top of your show's "Happiness Hour," I can't help but wonder if you are looking upon it as being a celebratory event. That doesn't seem to be in keeping with the family values focus of your show.

Have you identified the specific cause of your impending divorce? Is Elton John responsible? Did his recent marriage cause you to come under the spell of some kind of homo-pop mojo that compels you to dance when you think of bachelorhood? If so, the homosexuals may be far more clever than we anticipated. They foresaw that we'd prepare for the onslaught on marriage their legal parings would spark, so they threw a slider rather than a fastball.

We need you back in the fight, so please at least pretend that you're saddened by this event.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

P.S. Does this mean that Mrs. Prager's spot on your upcoming cruise is now available at a discount?

A helmet tip to reader Elton (No, not that one).