Punishing the sin of slack

Judge James P. Punch
Orleans County [NY] Supreme Court

Dear Judge Punch,

I can only imagine the emotions you felt when photos of the Church of the SubGenius's X-Day celebration were introduced as evidence in your court. No doubt you had a hard time containing your fury when you examined the Passion of the Christ parody featuring a pool noodle and an enraged crowd of dildo-wielding Hebrews. It sickens me to even think about it. The mockery of such a holy film and its 109 minutes of non-stop torture and sacred gore is such an affront to god-fearing men like ourselves, we would surely be forgiven had we followed our Deputy Leader's example and shot someone in the face.

Yet you resisted physical violence. Instead, you took away a participant's only begotten son, forbidding her from having any contact with the boy, "not even in writing."

The people of Orleans County are lucky to have a judge like you. The method of punishment you chose for this woman testifies to that. Her pain would have only been short term had you shot her in the face. By ripping her child away from her, you extended her pain for years, if not for a lifetime.

More importantly, you sent a powerful message to your constituency. You told them that the State of New York will destroy those who blaspheme our Lord and Savior. Hopefully, other judges will follow your lead and enforce a standard of reverence for our Lord that has been absent far too long in western democracies.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot