Ready the Mighty LEGOs of Victory.

Michelle Malkin
Concentration Camp Enthusiast

Dear Mrs. Malkin,

I stand in awe of your brilliance. Your plan to defeat the Mus-Com peril by buying LEGOs is perhaps the most inspired bit of thinking I've seen applied to winning this war. It's an absolutely magnificent idea.

Still there's more you can do. As Our Lady of the Concentration Camps, you are respected by our revered neocon overlords. You could use your influence with them to get LEGO government contracts.

The opportunities are endless. We could start out with something simple like LEGO armored Humvees and LEGO body armor for our troops in Iraq. Sure, it might take a lot of LEGOs to stop a bullet or a piece of shrapnel, but hey, LEGOs are apparently a lot easier to obtain than Kevlar; otherwise, our troops would already have the armor they need.

After we've taken care of the troops, we could move onto bigger projects. Imagine if you will, an Iraqi infrastructure or the entire city of New Orleans built with nothing but LEGOs. Future maintenance would be a snap. Any six-year-old with a Haliburton subcontract could do it.

Better yet, this may be an opportunity to build those concentration camps you've been yearning for. The irony of caging brown people behind Danish-made walls is just too good to pass up. Alberto Gonzales might even spring for LEGO glow sticks.

You don't need to market this idea all by yourself. James Dobson would be a natural ally. He could intimidate local governments into installing LEGO nativity scenes and Ten Commandments monuments at their courthouses. Think about it. There's no better metaphor for the modern Church than mass-marketed plastic. He'll love it.

I'd like to get together with you to discuss our strategy the next time you're in Seattle. Let me know when that is and I'll arrange something.

Heterosexually* yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

*I'm not hitting on you. It's just very important to me that people understand that I'm 110% heterosexual. Cletis is a god damned liar, and besides, I was drunk.

A helmet tip to my old usenet buddy, Mitch.

Elsewhere: Chris Bray argues that crocheted hats are our best weapon against the Mus-Com peril.