Meet the new Biblical Administrator for the Puget Sound and the Willamette Valley

Rabbi Daniel Lapin
Toward Tradition

Dear Rabbi Lapin,

I'm sorry to hear that your organization is facing hard times. I guess that's to be expected now that your friend Jack Abramoff is no longer laundering money through it. I wish you luck in finding a funding source.

Have you considered selling phony honors? The "Scholar of Talmudic Studies" title you bestowed on Mr. Abramoff seemed to work out well for him. From what I understand, he used it to meet all the Nobel winning members of the Cosmos Club. A title with that kind of clout has to be worth quite a bit of money. Heck, you could probably pull in a few million alone from Our Leader's political appointees who have only their mail order degrees to tout on their resumes.

I'd be glad to help you think of new honors to give out. All I'd ask for would be a great sounding title for myself, perhaps something like "Biblical Administrator for the Puget Sound and the Willamette Valley." That sounds pretty cool.

Heterosexually Yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to Carl at the Washington State Political Report.