Rep. Richard Pombo
Chair House Committee on Resource Extraction
Dear Rep. Pombo,
When I clicked on the link to your committee's Earth Day website, I was expecting to see the same old environmental problems everyone's always complaining about. You know what I mean, things like global warming, deforestation, air and water pollution, and species extinction. Thankfully, you provided something else: information about greedy environmentalists; how industry makes our air healthier to breathe; and the important work you're doing converting our forests into logging-friendly monocultures.
As good as your site is, it could be even better. Adding something about Our Leader's Earth Day activities would be a great start. People would love to see photos of his bicycle trip on restricted trails through endangered peninsular bighorn sheep lambing areas. It would provide them with a glimpse of Our Leader they seldom see: a man who isn't afraid to chase down an endangered ewe and show her a little Heartland-approved lovin'. You can't get more environmentally friendly than that. It's better than a coal-fired sunset.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
A helmet tip to reader Drew.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.