Let cowboys be cowboys

Ruth Malhotra
Georgia Tech College Republicans

Dear Miss Malhotra,

There was a time in this country when Christian people were treated with the respect we deserve. Everyone took it for granted that we were superior to all others. We could backhand an uppity brown person or an insolent wife without fear of reproach, because everyone believed we were God's chosen people.

Things are different today. America has become so wicked and worldly that Christians are no longer treated as superiors. Indeed, the government forbids any recognition that we are better than brown people, women, homosexuals, or even the French.

Thankfully, people like you are taking steps to change that. Your lawsuit demanding that the State allow us to persecute homosexuals is a great first step in the journey to reclaim our rightful place as rulers in this society.

I am praying for your success. With God's help and a good lawyer, we'll return to the days where the heavy thumps of Jesus' Mighty Jackboots of Biblical Conformity will resound across this great nation. And then cowboys can be just cowboys again.

Heterosexually* yours,

Gen. JC Christan, patriot

P.S. I think you've finally found your ticket to conservative stardom. The academic persecution angle wasn't quite cutting it.

*Cletis is a damned liar.