If it's good enough for our kids...

Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-GOP)
United States Senate

Dear Sen. Lieberman,

I bet you're still all tingly after the fundraiser Mel Sembler held for you. After all, not only is Amb. Sembler one of Our Leader's greatest fundraisers, he's also the man who pioneered some of your favorite interrogation techniques--the so-called "strong methods;" things like humiliation, beatings, and shoving things up a suspect's ass.

If it wasn't for Amb. Sembler's early experiments on children like "Donald," Richard Bradbury, and little Samantha Monroe, our nation might be decades behind in the race to perfect methods for causing pain approaching, but not equal to, that experienced during organ failure. Indeed, reading accounts made by his former wards is like listening to Abu Ghraib testimony.

"Donald:"

There were an immense number of times where I was forced to urinate and defecate on myself because they basically took my bathroom privilege away. I wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom. And I witnessed a lot of other people in there ending up urinating and defecating on themselves because being in a restraint. They told you were too dangerous to get up and go to the bathroom, those who asked. If you asked to go to the bathroom, you were afraid because if you did ask, then you'd be afraid to end up getting your tooth through your lip and I had it done many times.

Bradbury:

You don't understand what they did to these kids. They put stuff up my butt.

Monroe:

...beatings, rape by a counselor, forced hunger, and the confinement to a janitor's closet in "humble pants" -- which contained weeks of her own urine, feces and menstrual blood...

"It sticks inside you. It eats at your soul."

Now that your friend, Sen. McCain, has finally rolled over on Our Leader's torture bill, I expect that you'll be attending its signing at the White House, soon--at least, I hope that's the case given your support for torture in the past. You might consider inviting Ambassador Sembler along as well. It's only fitting that he be present at the moment his life's work becomes the law of the land.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


More on Ambassador Sembler here, here, and especially here:

Only Ray Bradbury knows what documents he has found in the trash through the years, but the whole world knows that one day he found Mel Sembler's penis pump.

[...]

Bradbury says the pump belongs to him because the ambassador threw it away. The ambassador says it belongs to him and he wants it back.

Update: Lindsey's (Majikthise) father investigated Straight Inc. She writes about it here and here.