Like a Timex watch

Robert Knight
Culture and Family Institute
Concerned Women for America

Dear Mr. Knight,

I've always been a big fan of the work done by blue bouffanted ladies of the CWA. And I was very impressed when they chose a man to run their Culture and Family Institute. These ladies obviously understand their role in society.

That's why I was so surprised to hear that you expressed feminist beliefs during an interview with David Rakoff. According to him, you said that men can't transmit the HIV virus to women because, and he quotes you here, "the human vagina can take a lot of punishment."

Now, I understand what you were trying to do--frame AIDS as a homosexual disease--but by doing so, you suggested that lady parts are tougher than our little soldiers. That sounds like feminist propaganda to me. It's like The Great Feminist 3+ Inch Thingy Lie. Such statements make men feel inadequate.

Sure, I've heard it said that lady parts can take a licking, but I know for a fact that my little soldier can take a heck of a beating. It's how I stay morally correct. I beat Private Johnson mercilessly every time he acts out inappropriately while I'm watching something like wresting or He-Man cartoons on the TV. I don't think it's hurt him any.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A big ol' helmet tip to reader Dan