A Salute for Nevada

Rep. Jim Gibbons
Gibbons For Governor
475 S. Arlington Avenue, Suite 2C
Reno, NV 89501

Dear Jim,

It’s been a tough week for your gubernatorial run against Sen. Dina Titus after you were accused of assaulting a 32-year-old Las Vegas Strip casino cocktail waitress. And now she is blabbing about your endeavor to buy a new story from her.

What is this world coming to, Jim? The ladies just don’t cooperate like they used to.

Honestly, Jim, I think you need a new approach for this one. Statements like "At some point I am sure my leg bumped hers...but it was not flirtatious," still places you and your “legs” in inappropriate proximity to the loins of a single, young, drunk chick on the Strip. Your claim that you walked her to her car and caught her as she tripped, just leaves too many questions about why you were escorting her to a car….

My advice is that you avoid timidity and steer this story into a spanking new and electrifying direction. Here’s the spin.…

The lady was flirting with you, when she said, “Jim Gibbons, I want a new direction for Nevada!” Having tossed back a few, you misheard her request as, “Jim Gibbons, I want a nude erection for Nevada!”

Assert that you would never be tempted to “fool around” for your own personal gratification. But this particular demand—this gesture begged of you in the service of Nevada—this request compelled a selfless act of patriotism that no real man could decline. Even if your “salute for Nevada” was a misunderstanding, tell ‘em you would do it again if you had to…in the service of the people of Nevada.

And then turn slowly to the camera, look into it squarely and ask the people of Nevada, “Would my opponent—could she—do the same?” The drama will shatter the opposition.

Good luck and, as always, I’m available if you need me.

Your verily,

Darryl
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